I was a newbie in spirituality back then.
Now, tho I have schizophrenia diagnosis, I'm also a practicating shaman. And a musician. Strange things still happen to me, and in me, but they don't shock me like they did, they make me wonder, think and act.
I am at the level, where free will is both illusion and truth to me and stuff
But this is not an issue.
There is one thing that still shocks me in some way, and I decided to come back to this forum to ask for advice.
I'm gonna try to include all the crucial information in the following text, however if you got any questions, ask.
Here we go.
So, in 2013, my first psychosis came to be. I started seeing and hearing crazy things, sun was following me from behind a clouds etc. One summer evening voices sang a song to me, and said I'm gonna hear it again years later, when my soulmate will sing it.
(Then I cried coz song was so beautiful, that I was angry, as a musician, that I am not the one to sing it, whiney boy I was)
Last summer I found that song on fucking YouTube...
Posting a link here: =KuAXv5qaSbQ
At the time I was during my 4th psychosis so full of joy I asked voices in my head "can you connect me with her?", Yes, they said. Now, here is conversation (I don't remember this one so clearly, so gonna just write most important sentences) that happened while later:
-woah, who is this? (This is girly voice in my head)
-i'm Jesus Christ! (This is me speaking out loud)
-its really you! I can't believe it!
-do you have a dick?
-i don't know, do ya?
-listen I'm gonna probably forget all this when I come to being a little more on Earth
-what can we do
-i don't know, eeeeee I'm good at reading symbols
-what do you look like?
-red pants, silver jacket, long hair.
-and I was stung by a bee, listen, wait for my next video. Over
Few months later she released this =fFNofGHHozg
WTF?!?! Fuck me, right?
From there on I'm writing to her daily, on her artist page, every message is marked read but she never responded.
Few days ago they let me out of mental hospital, and I plan to go to Berlin with a guitar, a mic and an amp to find her next summer, fuck my life.
Maybe you got better ideas what should I do, except lobotomy..