LaTortoiseNoir wrote: ↑
Sat Oct 05, 2019 11:29 am
for most problems there is a root of cause and from there stems the material pathways of effectiveness.
Neverland it is then. I'm going deep. Because i was there already, and the others that know dont talk about it for various reasons if their own.
Some of those raisins i can understand, some i can accept, and some... i cant speak of it either.
The song lyrics, Last Good Thing by Glorious Sons, describe it perfectly, almost...
"I never said a word I knew the boys had talked her silent
She had a look on her face like she hated the world, but it wasn't the look of an angry girl
She looked like a woman that no one could catch crying
I remember being young, no, I didn't have a clue, that the ones I looked up to were just as confused
I remember knowing everything would be alright; I wish I felt younger than I feel tonight"
We had all been through nastiness when we were young, most anyway, and there were some
that did it too.
There was one other that, like myself, seen it all for what it really was, that was going on beneath the surface appearances. Certainly wasn't anything like harry potter managing mischief.
They had ways of controlling us when we spoke out against what was being done. We knew it was wrong, everyone knew it was wrong but there are always reasons nobody could stop it from happening.
I dont think anyone would believe me if i said the extent of it, and i only know a small part of it.
Hypnosis was only one tool that was used to manipulate us, there were horrible physical abuses combined with hypnosis type techniques as well as other manipulative dark arts i am not educated in.
The other person like myself in that group of accused (and confirmed) youth that are a problem, that believed in god and truth, was very resistant and actively vocal about calling the handlers on their bs... serious crimes were being committed by any moral standards,
I did try to stop it, and what did i get for it, the bastard crushed my balls with a vice-grip pliers, in front of all the girls. I was 12.
so you see the brutality that was covered so well that nobody can see it, nobody will believe it or wants to hear it..
sorry, gotta deal.
and you know
that it is not the lucky ones that dont remember the things that were done to them. i have no words for this.
The young woman standing up for what is right, she wouldn't comply with their shit demands and fought bitterly for the truth while the rest of us were either unable to move or speak, or were compliant with the handlers, or they were in agreement with the agenda of the handlers.
Eventually she was manipulated into a trance state, and she still wouldn't comply with their commands. I remember being so amazed and wishing i could resist the controls to be free like how she still was.
In that moment, i'm going to have to search my soul now that i think about it, it could be true that i havn't ever felt so proud of another human being in my whole life since. We were in high school around that time.
Imagine what it feels like to be an already damaged teenager and fall from that kind of elation, to feel a sense of genuine adoration arise within only to be replaced minutes later by 10x more intense feeling of being a dirtbag that isn't good enough to deserve anything, even to look and see the face of the person so admired.
Because i was frozen to the spot i was standing on, unable to move, unable to speak. I couldn't do anything but scream inside myself...
The handlers took her deeper into trance and then began to threaten physical harm if she would not agree to comply with their commands and suggestions.
I had to watch, paralysed, fighting to be able to move my body or say something at least, but i couldn't, my body wouldn't obey me even to lift my hands from my sides.
The handlers put lighter fluid on the inside of her forearm lighting it and burning her arm until it was disfigured, loss of use, and never quite the same again. They stopped only when she agreed to comply with the handlers suggestions and commands.
The insidious beauty of it all is that she might not remember it this way as to how these things happened, and i know the records would be in conflict with what i've just stated as being true in my memory.
That's partly why the others dont talk about it, between the lies and the false memories everyone remembers something different happening or cant remember anything happening at all.
I remember seeing her in the hallway at school before she moved away. Some friends of hers took me to where she wanted to speak to me, I can see her saying something that is important but i cant yet hear the words that she said, someday i will know when i'm ready and it is safe for my conscious awareness to know.
However, i do clearly remember thinking that despite the disfigurement and any other cruelty she endured,..
to me she was the best and most beautiful young woman in the entire town, and the last good thing left in that town.
I never did talk much anyway, and i couldn't say anything, i knew, and she knew, what really happened and we both knew what could happen if we said anything about it...
the boys had talked her into silence...
the look on her face, pure human dignity... and its wordless, you just know.
i wish i could say more but these are not all my stories, its up to you the reader, and the others who were through their own moments of hell...
I'm not afraid
and if you have the courage and bravery to seek and find healing, the strength to stand up and speak your own truth and experiences for the well being of others..
Then we might not be able to change our pasts, but we can certainly enhance the present and change the future.