#41
I have noticed a posts wanting a parent to acknowledge their abuse to you as a child. I was stuck in that cycle as well. I continued to be the victim for many years.

My mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. One of the characteristics is to believe themselves to be perfect and the rest of us have a problem. My mother totally believes she is the model wife, mother, friend, etc. She has a totally different picture of our growing up years than her children do. My mother does not think she ever does anything wrong and therefore has nothing to acknowledge.

I came to realize I would wait until hell freezes over for an acknowledgement from my mother of anything less than a perfect life. Wanting something from someone that they are not able or willing to give is futile and takes too much energy. In waiting for an acknowledgement, apology or whatever, you are setting yourself up. You are hinging your life on someone else’s compliance.

It has been difficult to accept my mother as she is. I can’t imagine how anyone can abuse their children in the name of love. At some point, I realized any time I spent trying to get my mother to acknowledge the abuse I felt as a child was a waste of my energy. Learning to accept what is has been a challenge.

I send my mother a Mothers Day card, a funny one, only because I do not need to hear how thoughtless I am for not sending one. I think sending a ‘wonderful mother’ type card would be hypocritical of me because that is not how I feel.

Getting past the anger at my mother was difficult. Accepting what is, is certainly not easy. To me, in this case, unconditional love means accepting my mother as the person she is without wanting anything in return.

Blessings to all. It is difficult to let it go and accept what is. I think it is worth the effort.

#42
[QUOTE=Old Indi;342653]I have noticed a posts wanting a parent to acknowledge their abuse to you as a child. I was stuck in that cycle as well. I continued to be the victim for many years.

My mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. One of the characteristics is to believe themselves to be perfect and the rest of us have a problem. My mother totally believes she is the model wife, mother, friend, etc. She has a totally different picture of our growing up years than her children do. My mother does not think she ever does anything wrong and therefore has nothing to acknowledge.

I came to realize I would wait until hell freezes over for an acknowledgement from my mother of anything less than a perfect life. Wanting something from someone that they are not able or willing to give is futile and takes too much energy. In waiting for an acknowledgement, apology or whatever, you are setting yourself up. You are hinging your life on someone else’s compliance.

It has been difficult to accept my mother as she is. I can’t imagine how anyone can abuse their children in the name of love. At some point, I realized any time I spent trying to get my mother to acknowledge the abuse I felt as a child was a waste of my energy. Learning to accept what is has been a challenge.

I send my mother a Mothers Day card, a funny one, only because I do not need to hear how thoughtless I am for not sending one. I think sending a ‘wonderful mother’ type card would be hypocritical of me because that is not how I feel.

Getting past the anger at my mother was difficult. Accepting what is, is certainly not easy. To me, in this case, unconditional love means accepting my mother as the person she is without wanting anything in return.

Blessings to all. It is difficult to let it go and accept what is. I think it is worth the effort.[/QUOTE]


I agree it is a waste of energy but accepting who she is does not mean I have to allow her abuse in my life. I do accept who she is. I have given up on an acknowledgement but that doesn't mean I have to be an enabler and pretend that things are ok when they are not. That too is a waste of energy.

No stranger to what you say

#44
No stranger to what you say

First of all, this woman came here for advice and outlook. Perhaps instead of bashing and negative remarks, try on some tact and empathy for a while. We indigos seem to be good at both accounts, but tend to not realize which is needed and when. You can be truthful but be kind about it at the same time. Secondly, remember that you may not know all of the information, and try to see things from an objective view.

*Not all parents have the best intentions for their children. As much as the ignorant would love to believe that all families are loving and full of butterflies and honey, in reality most of them are not. They all have their issues, some more than others.
*Human suffering has a cause. If a person is in pain and emotional turmoil, there has to be a reason. Before judging and jumping over canyons to give advice, find out all the facts first. Otherwise you'll look like an arrogant ass.
*Just because someone gives birth to you, doesn't mean they are your mother. Just because you share DNA with a man, it doesn't mean he is your father. Family love doesn't always mean you have to be blood related, nor does being blood related mean that you are family. Many people don't understand this, so they should go to homes where the children are abused and neglected by their blood. Then they should visit the homes of children who were adopted into loving homes and where they are nurtured and loved by those who arn't their own blood.

Rose Petal,
I've been where you are now, honey. I grew up in an abusive home that was also quite religious. The only difference was that it was my father. I do love him, and always will, but sometimes ethics and morality has to step in. If your mother is causing you that much emotional pain, and it sounds like physical as well, then your decision to cut her off is warrented.

You need to surround yourself with supportive, benevolent, caring and understanding people in order to grow and thrive as a person and soul. Negitive qualities will only hinder you and keep you from your purpose and growth. Perhaps her behavior is because she too needs a little growth and light, but she has to be the one to want it. If you truely feel that what you wish is right for you, do it. Perhaps you don't have to cut her out completely unless it is absolutely necessary, but just take a break and shut her out for a while and see if the void starts to mend between you two. Sometimes an abscence is needed to put priorities into perspective.

Whatever you choose, I pray for you and yours. I hope you find an abundance of blessings in your future along with happiness.
Kris

#45
Hi Rosepetal, I also love that name too btw, actuallly makes me think of roses!

Ok, I really do understand where you are coming from with wanting to cut your mother out of your life, my own situation was that I went through physical, mental, emotional and religious brainwashing with my parents, and btw I am a Indigo/Crystal , so all that stuff I went through, deep down I knew it wasn't for me and just that I was there to be a punchbag and I let myself as I was supressed until the age that I could take no more and that was about 17-18 yrs ago when I was 16-17 then I simply chose not to be in that situation anymore and I left home, thank god I did, I not saying it was the best decision , just one that made the whole situation easier to deal with at that time. Now I am 34 yrs of age getting divorced from a unreconcilable marriage and feel so much better , lighter, and also need time to heal myself again. Though this time I am much older and wiser, and totally believe in myself that I am making the right decision. I feel maybe if you can take time out the relationship and allow yourself time to heal, you can go back and be able to talk through things when the situation has had time to heal, sometimes distance from a loved one can make the heart grow fonder, I missed my mum in spite of what I went through, but also do whats ultimately best for you, I really wish you all the best.

Love, the IndigoPhoenixWarrior2012.
xxx

#46
Yes. Rosepetal, I agree with Warrior, that getting out of the home can be a good solution! .... but like Warrior, not burning all your bridges at the same time.

There is no denying that our mother is our mother. My relationship with my mother was not easy! Now she is passed away and I still ponder on the meaning of that relationship.

Nevertheless, as we grow older, we begin to understand more the meaning of the mother/daughter relationship, and so much of what it signifies. It's important, IMO, whatever we do to, to leave an opening for the future, where things may improve.

At the age of 17/18 interaction can become very heated between parents and children, as the children are trying to break away and express their independence, while the parents sometimes feel threatened by this and want to keep control.

Love and *Hugs*, dear RosePetal!

Noreen

:D :D :D

#47
rose petal,

you know what you have to do,
you did not like some of the advice given, which is fine,
you want to justify your feelings, you don't have to
do what you have to do, does not matter what anyone thinks

follow your heart.

#48
[QUOTE=RosePetal;335016]Yeah well i refuse to drink anymore poison in my life.
I don't care if she is my mother, she's only been my biological mother and not my spiritual mother.

Maybe we were contracted to be together, so we could make each other miserable.
Or so that i could finally divorce her, which i probably failed to do in a past life.[/QUOTE]

Its ok. I divorced my "family" a long time ago and i cannot explain how much that changed and healed me. Remember always do what feels right for the sake of Your happiness

#49
[QUOTE=RosePetal;334818]Hi all,
I’m thinking of cutting my mother out of my life.
I was just looking for some comfort, support and advice if anyone has any.
She has never felt like much of a mother to me, the only thing she has done is make my life hell.

I don’t get along with anyone in my family and if they were strangers that I had met at a party I wouldn’t even talk to them, we have nothing in common.
I have tried my best to salvage the relationship with me and my mother, I have done what I could, but people like her are not interested in changing for the better, she just wants to bleed me dry until there is nothing left of me.

She doesn’t approve of anything I do and most of the time we argue, so what’s the point of having her in my life, I think that it is time to lose the dead weight.
She can stick to her bible thumping crap all she likes, I just don’t want to be around her anymore. So what if she is my mother, if she was anybody else but my mother I would not even talk to her.

I think the saddest thing about this is that she is an Indigo, I feel like I just want to slap her in the face for being so stupid.

Please somebody give me some words of comforting advice
Love and Light
RosePetal xxx[/QUOTE]



uhm well I really dunno what to tell ya dude... I dont have good relations with my family either but I try to put up with it until I can actually get out of my house and have a life on my own and whatever but as for you do you live on your own? or do you have to live with your mother as of right now? if you dont live on your own then try to put up with it for a few more years later ull be able to cut her out of your life if thats what you want I also dont have very many things in common with my family but as many people know we dont choose our families... think about it as a fight or a lesson you have to learn from all this and you might be able to get through until you can actually get away from it be strong my friend =) were all gonna support you here

#50
In my humble opinion, cutting your mother completely out of your life is something you should do as a last resort to the situation.
She just tries her best, parents are people too, they make mistakes just as the rest of us do. I would atleast have her sit down with me for a couple of minutes and try to explain to her about your beliefs and what the problems are, then she may accept you and become closer altogether.
If after a talk and she still demands you follow her orders, then I would have to agree with you. She has no place in your life if she tries to destroy what you stand for. My best guess would to completely disown her, I know it sounds terrible, but at certain times in certain peoples lives, this becomes completely necessary for happiness. I hope this helps.
-Sol[CENTER][/CENTER]

#51
I know how you feel. Working out relations with your mother is DIFFICULT.
If your mother is like mine, she seems to fine tune her 'white noise' nonsense- (her no man's land sensibilities) to keep up with my rate of change. But you have to remember that she is experiencing the situation in two dimensions, forward and reverse. She backpedals to protect herself, and probably doesn't realize that this interaction is pulling you down and making you stumble when you are looking for upward momentum, to keep on moving forward. Interacting with a non indigo is like one of those rock wall treadmills, where you can climb on these rocks as they go around and around. If they start going backwards, you have to jump off, get really good at climbing down instead of up at the drop of a hat, or if you're like me, try to read their minds so you know when they're about to screw you up (and that doesn't really work but it makes you incredibly strong if you keep at it for as long as I did).

Here is something else: Miracles happen. Don't be afraid to ask for one, remember that asking doesn't take any special skill. Do you know your soul mate? Try and get in touch with that person spiritually, search for a more and more meaningful connection. It doesn't matter if you haven't met them or not, your lives are still connected.
Here's something else- Luck. Have some of that, because it can make tricky situations slippery smooth.

#52
i would do what you gut says. kickem to the curb!!
i did this to my father what an ass hole.
noting but s h i t will never change or help.
look after no:1 your self... because no one gives a shit!!
on this site you will get soft guidence
but the the real world they dont give a stuff but them self.

#54
I have not spoke to my mother in weeks, I love it.

We are so different, and she was a horrible mother, she said she loved me, but her vibration was not love, everything had to be perfect
as an adult coming home for a visit, she yelled at me for hanging my t shirts on hangers, she wanted everything placed how she wanted it, even if you were just staying for a little bit
she would come to my room, seek me out, and yell about me not placing the correct wash cloth, dish and bathroom wash cloth in the proper laundry basket
as kitchen ones get bleeched. fine tell me next time you see, but that you seek me out like a child.. give me abreak
a perfectionist, everything had to be perfect
to her standards..
a plastic bag had to be white for the bathroom, or yellow for a nother room
no one ever came over and no one cared what colored bag was in the bathroom garbage can! that freakin messed up guys, this is only the tip of the iceberg...

but the other day, I was walking to one business, about to enter in
and I was mere seconds away maybe 3 to five
and the next business,store next to where I was going in, my freakin mother walked out
my jaw was descended... The timing of this, was so orchestrated by the universe
so I talked to her for a moment, and said, ok, Universe, she can be in my life a tiny bit... I get it....

#55
[QUOTE=RosePetal;334818]Hi all,
I’m thinking of cutting my mother out of my life.
I was just looking for some comfort, support and advice if anyone has any.
She has never felt like much of a mother to me, the only thing she has done is make my life hell.

I don’t get along with anyone in my family and if they were strangers that I had met at a party I wouldn’t even talk to them, we have nothing in common.
I have tried my best to salvage the relationship with me and my mother, I have done what I could, but people like her are not interested in changing for the better, she just wants to bleed me dry until there is nothing left of me.

She doesn’t approve of anything I do and most of the time we argue, so what’s the point of having her in my life, I think that it is time to lose the dead weight.
She can stick to her bible thumping crap all she likes, I just don’t want to be around her anymore. So what if she is my mother, if she was anybody else but my mother I would not even talk to her.

I think the saddest thing about this is that she is an Indigo, I feel like I just want to slap her in the face for being so stupid.

Please somebody give me some words of comforting advice
Love and Light
RosePetal xxx[/QUOTE]

hmm cant help you there darl- welcome to life!

I dont think I know a single person whose had it easy in life or a perfect relationship with their parents.

tbh with you, its never the best idea to burn your bridges, you're 24 and an adult by my terms. If you and your mum still cant get on, hold her at arms length- but never cut contact completly as that would be sinking to her level and showing immaturity.

besides! you'd be freaked out by how much a child can be like their mother, and no mother is by any means perfect.

---------- Post added at 03:47 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:46 PM ----------

[QUOTE=purplejade;489923]I have not spoke to my mother in weeks, I love it.

We are so different, and she was a horrible mother, she said she loved me, but her vibration was not love, everything had to be perfect
as an adult coming home for a visit, she yelled at me for hanging my t shirts on hangers, she wanted everything placed how she wanted it, even if you were just staying for a little bit
she would come to my room, seek me out, and yell about me not placing the correct wash cloth, dish and bathroom wash cloth in the proper laundry basket
as kitchen ones get bleeched. fine tell me next time you see, but that you seek me out like a child.. give me abreak
a perfectionist, everything had to be perfect
to her standards..
a plastic bag had to be white for the bathroom, or yellow for a nother room
no one ever came over and no one cared what colored bag was in the bathroom garbage can! that freakin messed up guys, this is only the tip of the iceberg...

but the other day, I was walking to one business, about to enter in
and I was mere seconds away maybe 3 to five
and the next business,store next to where I was going in, my freakin mother walked out
my jaw was descended... The timing of this, was so orchestrated by the universe
so I talked to her for a moment, and said, ok, Universe, she can be in my life a tiny bit... I get it....[/QUOTE]

lol what a control freak- how unfortunate for you xD

#56
It seems most has been said and discussed already.

In my opinion - I would support you in whatever you felt is right for you here and now.
No need to make a decicion in this moment, for the rest of your life.

If you want to be by yourself Right Now - be that. No need to say: "We'll never meet again". Say and do whatever you feel like, and know that tomorrow (not litterally, but you know - the future) might bring some new side of things to the surface.

Everything - Every Thing, is as it is for a reason. And it is Always a win-win situation.


So, do as you like. It is ok.

Acceptance, and seeing all as ok just the way it is - is the best healer of anything.
And this I say for You. It is for YOU I say this. Not for her. Its what heals You best, to see it that way. Feel free to vent and be angry aswell. Or sad. Or any feeling.

Love
Jes

#57
hahaha purplejade you have it hard... lol control freak indeed hahaha but really ... many mothers have other issues as well... like for example mine is not such a control freak... but she does love yellin at me all the freakin time for no reason at all...and when im sick she wont take care of me she will just say its my fault and that im stupid for gettin sick... she will hit me for no reason when shes on a bad mood and she will tell me every single day of the dish I didnt wash after eating even if I did wash it.... Ive become inmune to anything she says...because she never has anything good to say...if I do something good she wont recognize it...but rather look for soemthing bad to tell it to my face if I do somethin bad...well I prolly will be gettin a lot of physical damage and/or physicological (forgot how to spell) damage from whatever she does or says ... its really annoying having to live with her...not to say that she has a condition and I have to take care of her a lot of times when she doesnt give a damn about me...but oh well..thats just what mothers are for I guess...not....

#58
Are you sure she's an indigo??? Indigo Moms are usually so loving, still moms and firm if nessisary but mostly nurturing. I think she sounds like vampire in an indigo cape. I like to generalize most indigos as open and loving and
not forcing a particular religous subscription or agenda. If it's all bad don't feel guilt because she's your mom I mean toxic is toxic the same.

Reminds me of a bfs mom total evil abusive witch. She was also on the hypocritical bandwagon. Such blasmphomy!!! Got that woman makes my stomach turn. Near death didn't even change the bitch it made her more intitaled. She loved the attention so much of being sick she made a big deal of a surgery she wouldn't say what. Just to make people worry it was back again something very serious. What was it actually??? Surgery for mesh god .

#59
[QUOTE=RosePetal;334818]Hi all,
I’m thinking of cutting my mother out of my life.
I was just looking for some comfort, support and advice if anyone has any.
She has never felt like much of a mother to me, the only thing she has done is make my life hell.

I don’t get along with anyone in my family and if they were strangers that I had met at a party I wouldn’t even talk to them, we have nothing in common.
I have tried my best to salvage the relationship with me and my mother, I have done what I could, but people like her are not interested in changing for the better, she just wants to bleed me dry until there is nothing left of me.

She doesn’t approve of anything I do and most of the time we argue, so what’s the point of having her in my life, I think that it is time to lose the dead weight.
She can stick to her bible thumping crap all she likes, I just don’t want to be around her anymore. So what if she is my mother, if she was anybody else but my mother I would not even talk to her.

I think the saddest thing about this is that she is an Indigo, I feel like I just want to slap her in the face for being so stupid.

Please somebody give me some words of comforting advice
Love and Light
RosePetal xxx[/QUOTE]

I totally understand. I'm literally in the planning process to moving across the country to get away from my parents. It's not that I'm mean or anything like that, it's just sometimes people (Including family) serve their purposes up to a certain point and then we gotta move on. Ya know?

#60
Parents are nothing else than normal poeple you want to spend time with or not.
If you want, do.
If not, don't do. Keep them in respect for giving a place in the world and that's it.

#61
I don't agree with the others -- if she is poisonous to you, cut her out asap.

Just because someone is a relative, doesn't obligate you to cut them anymore slack than you would anyone else.

My wife's mother is a narcissistic, selfish, criticizing, enabler. My wife is now stuck with putting her in a home and dealing with her until she dies.

We'd be a lot happier if we didn't have to deal with her. My mother was checked-out emotionally and my father was a control freak -- they are both dead, which was a relief. My sister is dishonest and so I have little to do with her too.

Bill Murray, in "Scrooged", had a great line: "Scrape 'em off".

If someone is hurting you, scrape them off.

Its okay, however, to let them know that they can have a relationship with you after they fix their crap. But until then, scrape her off.

She hasn't earned your love.

#62
I disagree with
She hasn't earned your love.
Love is the last thing that can be earned. It is not a business.

Love might be there, even if the contact is cut off as this in many cases is the healthy way.

Should not be mixed.

#63
[QUOTE=Akilein;1117439]I disagree with

Love is the last thing that can be earned. It is not a business.

Love might be there, even if the contact is cut off as this in many cases is the healthy way.

Should not be mixed.[/QUOTE]

Unconditional love, unicorns and rainbow sprinkles are all wonderful myths...

... but, if someone is hurting you and poisoning your life, you are under no comic rule to have to love them. There is no harm in cutting them out and forgetting them.

#64
Who says one has to love somebody and who said cutting out is a harm?

As I said, don't mistake love and business.

And the "unconditional" and "love" is the most stupid combination. Love IS unconditional, everything else is not love. It is like saying dry water.

What I tried to say is that even if a healthy relationship is not possible, love may be there. Did not say IS there, HAS to be there, IS a RULE etc.

#65
I think the concept of "unconditional love" is total BS. A made up impossibility.

Everyone sets conditions. There is always a line that can be crossed that will kill love. Everybody sets out certain criteria before they can love someone.

Yes, love may be there -- but I;'d say it was more like the wish of love --- But then, who cares when someone is hurting your life?

#66
Longjourney, it is true that not everyone is capable of unconditional love. I believe everyone is born with the possibility of unconditional love though. It's something one has to listen to, it's a choice.
But loving someone and being with them are two completely different things. It's important to know what one wants out of a relationship, if anything, and then go for that. Parents are people like everybody else, and we can't control who they are. We can however control how we let them affect us and our lives. But as with all relationships, one has to consider the choices and make compromises and sacrifices to make that relationship work. Boundaries is important to all relationships, as is communication etc.

In regards to unconditional love, I believe it exists, because I feel it on a daily basis. However it's a burden that not surprisingly not everybody is willing to take up. For me it's always there, in an unexplained, excruciating way. Maybe it's an ability like so many other things people on IS can do. I have such a hard time thinking in terms of being different in that area because I've had it all my life...

#67
You cannot "cut" your Mother from your life. When your Soul first arrived it was your Mother's Love that guided you to her, and because of this she will always be connected to you. Being angry with her it is difficult to remember this, but do try. Your Love can heal this sad situation if you allow it. Your Mother has forgotten her Soul's Love too. Many older women have.

We were all taught life should be a competitive tug-of-war rather than a short spiritual experience gifted to us to help our souls evolve. We are then sent to public daycare or school and taught to approach "logical" thinking and life with our ego first....kindness and decency are no longer our focus. Rather than cutting, simply refocus your Soul on Loving things. If you stay as angry as your Mother, that negativity will keep cycling until it destroys all it touches.

When we allow our Ego's anger, frustration and negativity to take the wheel, that self-centeredness can infect everyone around us. As it has in your relationship with your Mother. The Essence of your Soul is Love, and why falling in Love feels so wonderful ~ because our human body is connecting to our Soul. Once we angrily disconnect from this Love, we disconnect from our Soul, and a "hole" is left in it's place. And everyone around us will fall into that hole if we don't fill it ourselves with Love, and Spirituality.

That hole is what you are trying to "cut out" by eliminating your Mother's existence from your life. But it will not work. Because your Soul is hungry for Love, but instead of answering that call you are allowing your Ego's anger to control you. Do not allow this to happen, or that pattern will repeat itself with your relationship with your daughter.

Your Ego is always self-destructive, whereas your Spirituality is your connection to the Divine....which is Love, Your Soul. Always lead with that 'side' of yourself and you cannot go wrong.

#68
[QUOTE=RosePetal;334818]Hi all,
I’m thinking of cutting my mother out of my life.
I was just looking for some comfort, support and advice if anyone has any.
She has never felt like much of a mother to me, the only thing she has done is make my life hell.

I don’t get along with anyone in my family and if they were strangers that I had met at a party I wouldn’t even talk to them, we have nothing in common.
I have tried my best to salvage the relationship with me and my mother, I have done what I could, but people like her are not interested in changing for the better, she just wants to bleed me dry until there is nothing left of me.

She doesn’t approve of anything I do and most of the time we argue, so what’s the point of having her in my life, I think that it is time to lose the dead weight.
She can stick to her bible thumping crap all she likes, I just don’t want to be around her anymore. So what if she is my mother, if she was anybody else but my mother I would not even talk to her.

I think the saddest thing about this is that she is an Indigo, I feel like I just want to slap her in the face for being so stupid.

Please somebody give me some words of comforting advice
Love and Light
RosePetal xxx[/QUOTE]
-----------------------------
yes when you don't believe in something blissful being around someone that does is painful because it reminds you that its a light you can never have. Now regardless of a difference of believe and how she executes her belief lshe is still family and without family people can be open to do desperate things they will regret. Just take what she says as a grain of salt and know in her mind her disapproval lis only an intention of careing about you.

#69
I read the first sentence then stopped......We only get one mother and myself has only just realized this. No matter what the back ground is she is still the mother that brought you into the world.

My mother wasnt nice, my childhood is full of pain, my adult hood seemed much harder. She abused me in every way possible then dumbed me in care. She left me homeless at 16 to survive. I was homeless a year, through christmas and birthday, i starved for days at a time and terrified i would die, slept rough everywhere.
She beat me everyday of my childhood, tortured me physically and mentally and not just with words. She would put spiders in my dinner and watch me eat them, fish head in my bed or fish guts mixed up with my school uniform. Drugs, alcohol and her mental head ruined me. She would beat me then when school would ask questions shed say it was my sister. She made me smash my head into a mirror deliberately for punishment, if not she would of ramed my head in the mirror herself.
There so much more but thats not the point...I know see her in a different light, she still a dragon drama queen that loves causing chaos but i let it go over my head. I see the true being she is deep in her soul and each action she has done has been let go off.

I went years without talking to her because she was so messed up and messed me upto, the one thing that killed me was i could see her innocence all along but terrified of having that call she was gone, died and passed on. That hurt the most.

My nan died last year and she came to me, she said my mother needed me to understand her and to let go of the actions....I was not happy that my nan said this but few weeks later after years of not talking properly my mother got in touch. She keeps her distance as i do keep a guard up and senses that but those words my nan came forward hit me like a ton of bricks...she was right, i instantly saw my mothers soul, her inner child and who she really is. The past and present relationship has changed all because i let her be herself and forgive.

#70
[QUOTE=anne;1127968]I read the first sentence then stopped......We only get one mother and myself has only just realized this. No matter what the back ground is she is still the mother that brought you into the world.

My mother wasnt nice, my childhood is full of pain, my adult hood seemed much harder. She abused me in every way possible then dumbed me in care. She left me homeless at 16 to survive. I was homeless a year, through christmas and birthday, i starved for days at a time and terrified i would die, slept rough everywhere.
She beat me everyday of my childhood, tortured me physically and mentally and not just with words. She would put spiders in my dinner and watch me eat them, fish head in my bed or fish guts mixed up with my school uniform. Drugs, alcohol and her mental head ruined me. She would beat me then when school would ask questions shed say it was my sister. She made me smash my head into a mirror deliberately for punishment, if not she would of ramed my head in the mirror herself.
There so much more but thats not the point...I know see her in a different light, she still a dragon drama queen that loves causing chaos but i let it go over my head. I see the true being she is deep in her soul and each action she has done has been let go off.

I went years without talking to her because she was so messed up and messed me upto, the one thing that killed me was i could see her innocence all along but terrified of having that call she was gone, died and passed on. That hurt the most.

My nan died last year and she came to me, she said my mother needed me to understand her and to let go of the actions....I was not happy that my nan said this but few weeks later after years of not talking properly my mother got in touch. She keeps her distance as i do keep a guard up and senses that but those words my nan came forward hit me like a ton of bricks...she was right, i instantly saw my mothers soul, her inner child and who she really is. The past and present relationship has changed all because i let her be herself and forgive.[/QUOTE]

Hi,

Your story is not unlike my own. We choose our parents before incarnation as I see these things. Some of us will become strong because of them. We will see the divinity in every human as a result of these experiences or we will become like the person we rejected. No matter. As eternal beings we will find that truth about the nature of life and love from that divine perspective sooner ot later.

John
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