Welcome to IS Justus
Just to let you know many of us here relate a lot with your feelings. Don't feel sad about what it is going on with humanity right now, It's been going on forever and it's people's choice what happens to them, we choose our own reality but some are not conscious about it, they will soon
Life is painful to you because you want it to be that way, it is your choice, You have all the power to free yourself from the pain and suffering.
This is your home now, you chose to be here, earth is beautiful, remember to enjoy it as much as possible and transmit that joy to those around you. To me "God" is in me, in you, in every single creature on earth.
God Luck with your mission, I am sure it's wonderful!
Love and Peace,
[QUOTE=Justus;492792]hi i was born in '78. i have just always "known" things, wanted to "change" the world and humanity, I am an extremely complicated, lonely, misunderstood, and "Special" (as my mom recently called me) person. I think and do outside the box. I am a creative singer/humanitarian with something to share...alas the gen. pop. is not ready for me, and they never have been. someday they will be. until then, I watch in sadness as humanity destroys itself, through greed, power lust, and blatant ignorance.
This is not home. God is home. My skin crawls with the need to bust out of it, it's so confining. A special, older friend of mine (the rare person who DOES understand me) told me I'm huge and will be having a big part to play in the "end times".
I can see the earth from afar, through a "grid". I can see time as though it were a clear bubble. I can reach through both, and mend a shattered heart held in my hands. I can be present with someone else , whether it's 2000 years ago, 40 years ago and/or 4000 miles away. What we call "reality" is the canvas of the Master Artist. I am here to sing to people's hearts, and help them mend themselves and each other. I am here to help the children who cannot help themselves. I can be me, and I can be "others".
Life is painful. The emotional pain of so many people that I feel turns to such physical pain and agony that it is almost too much too bear. That on top of the obstacles from disbelieving and ignorant people in my own life, just makes for a painful, lonely, yet special, life.
btw, Dia, privyet.[/QUOTE]