Re: How to deal with separation anxiety?

#2
There are so many degrees of it. It depends on just how close you truly were to this person... how deeply in love. If it's just temporary, or if you'll never see them again. That's assuming you're referring to a mate and not a family member. I would need more information to give decent advice.

If it's the variety I had to deal with as a youngster (I was 15 at the time, she was 13)... there is no way to deal with it. I'm in my 30's now and I still haven't gotten over it, and I know that it left a void in me that nothing else can possibly fill. A piece of me went with her, and I know that feeling was mutual. We were as deeply in love as I think 2 people can possibly be. Her father was given a job offer he couldn't refuse far away. She wanted to stay here and live with her aunt but they wouldn't let her, and she wasn't old enough to make the decision for herself (you have to be 14 for that, at that time anyhow, it may have since changed?).

We would lay outside on her giant trampoline at night under a big warm blanket and look up at the stars at night. I was into astronomy so I'd point things out to her. She lived in the sticks so there was hardly any light pollution so you could see many stars, and shooting stars too. I can picture that sky so clearly even now it's as if it happened yesterday.

I've never loved another girl like that since. And in that case there was absolutely no way to deal with the separation anxiety, sadness, depression, etc... I could only live with it and appreciate the happiness I was afforded.

Re: How to deal with separation anxiety?

#3
Hello Lucid Dreams. thanks for responding. The original OP must have deleted his post, cause its gone. My post was a reply not the OP.
But yes the only thing that Half way heals real deep loves is Time maybe nut fully but its takes the edge off. Ever wonder what they are doing now. Or think about takening the time to look them up. In my case she was married so I would not do so. But...i think about it. Took me a few years to get over that one. That was back in 1987.
My wife is my best friend and still a good Love.
Be well
Tim

Re: How to deal with separation anxiety?

#4
I don't have any social media accounts... don't do social media. I only have a Youtube acct. and that isn't tied to my real name. One reason being I once had a Facebook acct., for a very short time. But an X-gf started messaging other girls I talked to on there and posting things on their walls and stuff... mean things, about them and me. Harassing them. Making up lies about me, but they knew what kind of person I was and called BS on her as well as calling her out for her obvious motive. That type of drama got old to me a long time ago and I didn't need it. Besides I only created that account to keep in touch with some friends living abroad, not to re-unite with people I went to school with that I never talked to then, yet they're friend requesting me now as if we were the best of buds or something. I like real friends in the flesh not virtual ones. And 2 of the girls she was harassing the most only created their accounts in the first place to K.I.T. with me, so it was an easy decision for all 3 of us. We deleted our accounts and now just either talk on the phone or via IM. I told them to install Pidgin Messenger with the "Off-the-Record" plugin and create an xmpp account to chat via IM online... keep it minimized whenever they're online and set it up to flash or make a sound when we log on so we'd know. And that's how I talk to most of my friends when we're not hanging out in the real world these days.

During that brief stint though I did indeed look up that first and greatest love of mine. She didn't have a Facebook account either. And I didn't expect her to, she isn't the type to put her business out there like that. I was hoping to see that she was happy and had someone in her life treating her well. That's what I want the most for her. But I get the feeling that's not the case. That like me, she probably had a few relationships, even with some really nice guys. She is after all a great girl and would settle for nothing less. But in the end always felt something was missing they couldn't provide to her. After what we had that's just a tough act to follow, if not impossible, and it's really not fair to the other person at all. I hope that I'm wrong about that but it's what I feel is probably the case. But I'm trying to hold to a promise I made to myself that if/when I meet another really nice girl in my life I won't unfairly hold her against that ghost of my past. I hope that she's already done this.
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