dealing with intense relationship energy

#1
So I have been Single for at least 14 years and I am finally at the point where I am beginning to allow it back into my life.
A friend whom I actually dated a long time ago when I was young and immature, ask to hang out and it was a good night, nothing happened just conversation but the attraction was there, only better for we had both grown and become different people. BUT! she is actually still Married right now going through a divorce with someone she admits was a mistake to marry. (she rushed into it) but that's not really why I write all this, its my emotions I have to deal with, and this happens every time I am getting into a relationship, I start to feeling overwhelmed and consumed by the whole situation, which I suppose is common in this situation, yet this is more intense and makes me want to just get everything over with already so I can finally relax. but this is not a situation one can rush, and rushing tends to mess up relationships any how. and yes I have rushed all my previous relationships and they turned out... well lets just say I was single for 14 years for a reason.
so I guess if any of you wonderful people have any tips on dealing with this energy better, that would be nice.
Bamboo Sunglasses

#2
14 years, that's a lot of water passing through the river, the real deal with this kind of situation is the lack of affection, hugs, giving/receiving love. The absence of affection can diminish your ability to cope with the external world. I agree with the idea of rushing to a relationship. But the most difficult part about relationship is when you know you've been through some specific challenges into your life which make you feel alone, whatever how closer you feel with someone because you know that even if you get very close from your partner you won't ever be able to share some part of yourself, this leads to an incomplete/partial relationship and maybe you'll be full of desillusions for the rest of your life. If you have the spiritual strengh to stay alone, my advice would be to stay alone on your path.

#3
I'm a rusher myself so i totally understand.... I tend to jump into relationships being like... its a month already lets get married and live together and make all the babies!!!
hahaha

Its super hard to take that step back... my advice is jsut breathe and try to distract yourself... start exercising or find a hobby that takes up some time... when you get that burning sensation in your hand that wants to write a book worth of sonnets to her or call her every 5 minutes go for a walk instead :p

especially with her still being married (even if its in a divorce thing) and all... its very important to keep your cool in this situation, she is going to need TIME to figure this out... and its important you give her that time and space while still letting her know you care. be there for her but not super IM THERE FOR YOU ALWAYS INSTANTLY. haha


best of luck <3 and remember, as much as it burns and tingles and spazzes you out, these are actually kind of the fun and exciting times, we dont get enough good ol fashioned excitement these days ;)

#4
opiumchild wrote:I'm a rusher myself so i totally understand.... I tend to jump into relationships being like... its a month already lets get married and live together and make all the babies!!!
hahaha

Its super hard to take that step back... my advice is jsut breathe and try to distract yourself... start exercising or find a hobby that takes up some time... when you get that burning sensation in your hand that wants to write a book worth of sonnets to her or call her every 5 minutes go for a walk instead :p

especially with her still being married (even if its in a divorce thing) and all... its very important to keep your cool in this situation, she is going to need TIME to figure this out... and its important you give her that time and space while still letting her know you care. be there for her but not super IM THERE FOR YOU ALWAYS INSTANTLY. haha


best of luck <3 and remember, as much as it burns and tingles and spazzes you out, these are actually kind of the fun and exciting times, we dont get enough good ol fashioned excitement these days ;)
Awsome, this made me laugh- it's been a month lets get married! I've done that more then once, never went through with it though.
everything you said was spot on, and yes I do just have to deal with the energy and not be at her feet 24/7.
maybe I'll try grounding myself, which I should be doing anyway.

#5
Greetings Gambrinth! What you're going through in this situation is very similar to my current relationship of ten years now. I understand the emotions that are filling you with the prospect of a relationship as well. In my past when I've met a woman that I felt a connection to, I would also be flooded with emotions and the desire to "take it to the next level." When I met my current spouse (I'm going to call her spouse but even after 10 years we are still not married....long story) I was in a place of searching for my soul mate. I was 33 y/o and had been single for 5 years after a divorce. I was also just ending a 1 year relationship with someone that was more of a relationship of convenience not love on my part. I was living alone for the first time in my life and had been for about 6 months. I was playing an massive multiplayer online game called "The Sims." The game was basically a glorified chat room where you could control an avatar and interact with other peoples avatars. I was also an internet radio DJ. So I met my spouse one night while I was on the air. She started listening to my show and we immediately "hit it off" because of our shared love of Rock music. We started talking and quickly exchanged phone numbers within days of talking online. She was also married and also wanting to end her relationship as things weren't going well.

So we talked on the phone and in the game for 10 months until the day came when her husband moved out of the house. She bought me an airline ticket to Chicago (I lived in Sacramento) and I flew out to stay with her over the Memorial Day weekend. Realize that during the 10 months I was feeling a overwhelming connection with her. I called her "my angel" and we seemed to click on every level. Seeing her and holding her for the first time my body felt electrified upon her touch. After the stay I flew back home to Sacramento and gave my company two weeks notice and started packing to move in with her in Chicago. She flew out to Sacramento and helped me pack everything I could fit into a uhaul and away I went.

What a dangerous situation this was. She was on a rebound and needed someone to help pay the bills in the enormous house she lived in. It could have ended badly on so many levels. None of this really entered my mind, I was listening to my heart and soul telling me this woman was my soul mate. Both her family and mine thought this was going to end badly. And all of them were right for thinking it. Well 10 years and 2 children together and here we are. I'm going to admit that this is a very tough relationship to work on. We've had many ups and downs. Somehow we've managed to stay together through it all.

So here's a synopsis of the beginning of our relationship. During the 10 months we were getting to know each other I did alot of praying and meditating on the path I was on leading to us getting together. It was very hard to receive messages during this time as my heart was basically the guiding factor in this. This is when I started consulting psychics to help with my decision. Please I'm not telling you to consult psychics on this matter, nor am I telling you NOT to. I'm just sharing what I did in the situation that seems to be very close to the one you're going through.

Here's the questions to ask yourself and the universe: "Is she putting her ducks in a row for an easy exit from her marriage?" "When you're close to her to you feel an electric energy in your body?" "Is there a voice within warning you that things are not what they seem?" "Does this union feel more of a answer to loneliness or is it a genuine feeling of being together?" I'll pray for you to receive some clarity from your guide when thinking about these. I wish you good luck!!

#6
tchatt70 wrote:Greetings Gambrinth! What you're going through in this situation is very similar to my current relationship of ten years now. I understand the emotions that are filling you with the prospect of a relationship as well. In my past when I've met a woman that I felt a connection to, I would also be flooded with emotions and the desire to "take it to the next level." When I met my current spouse (I'm going to call her spouse but even after 10 years we are still not married....long story) I was in a place of searching for my soul mate. I was 33 y/o and had been single for 5 years after a divorce. I was also just ending a 1 year relationship with someone that was more of a relationship of convenience not love on my part. I was living alone for the first time in my life and had been for about 6 months. I was playing an massive multiplayer online game called "The Sims." The game was basically a glorified chat room where you could control an avatar and interact with other peoples avatars. I was also an internet radio DJ. So I met my spouse one night while I was on the air. She started listening to my show and we immediately "hit it off" because of our shared love of Rock music. We started talking and quickly exchanged phone numbers within days of talking online. She was also married and also wanting to end her relationship as things weren't going well.

So we talked on the phone and in the game for 10 months until the day came when her husband moved out of the house. She bought me an airline ticket to Chicago (I lived in Sacramento) and I flew out to stay with her over the Memorial Day weekend. Realize that during the 10 months I was feeling a overwhelming connection with her. I called her "my angel" and we seemed to click on every level. Seeing her and holding her for the first time my body felt electrified upon her touch. After the stay I flew back home to Sacramento and gave my company two weeks notice and started packing to move in with her in Chicago. She flew out to Sacramento and helped me pack everything I could fit into a uhaul and away I went.

What a dangerous situation this was. She was on a rebound and needed someone to help pay the bills in the enormous house she lived in. It could have ended badly on so many levels. None of this really entered my mind, I was listening to my heart and soul telling me this woman was my soul mate. Both her family and mine thought this was going to end badly. And all of them were right for thinking it. Well 10 years and 2 children together and here we are. I'm going to admit that this is a very tough relationship to work on. We've had many ups and downs. Somehow we've managed to stay together through it all.

So here's a synopsis of the beginning of our relationship. During the 10 months we were getting to know each other I did alot of praying and meditating on the path I was on leading to us getting together. It was very hard to receive messages during this time as my heart was basically the guiding factor in this. This is when I started consulting psychics to help with my decision. Please I'm not telling you to consult psychics on this matter, nor am I telling you NOT to. I'm just sharing what I did in the situation that seems to be very close to the one you're going through.

Here's the questions to ask yourself and the universe: "Is she putting her ducks in a row for an easy exit from her marriage?" "When you're close to her to you feel an electric energy in your body?" "Is there a voice within warning you that things are not what they seem?" "Does this union feel more of a answer to loneliness or is it a genuine feeling of being together?" I'll pray for you to receive some clarity from your guide when thinking about these. I wish you good luck!!
Honestly, the moment she walked in my door the night we first hanged out after many years, there was this immediate attraction I had as if she had been in my life all along. and we where finally ready to start something together. or at least I was ready, for this happened only a couple days after I had finally ended my fear of being in a relationship. which is interesting.

I'm just going to follow my nose on this one, and not try and control it, just trust in the universe.

#8
Hearts don't break.. they only bend and crack a little.
When you've managed to stay single for that long (other than minor and unimportant temporary involvements), something in your mind and heart is telling you that it's not time to be involved. Perhaps you're hung up on someone from your past. Perhaps you knew that you needed to work on yourself. Perhaps you've been emotionally and spiritually involved elsewhere.
For whatever reason, allow it to be what it is. Find and know your heart now. Seek only why you've made the choices you've made.
You're not waiting for love to find you. It's already a part of you.

<3

#9
Hearts don't break.. they only bend and crack a little.
When you've managed to stay single for that long (other than minor and unimportant temporary involvements), something in your mind and heart is telling you that it's not time to be involved. Perhaps you're hung up on someone from your past. Perhaps you knew that you needed to work on yourself. Perhaps you've been emotionally and spiritually involved elsewhere.
For whatever reason, allow it to be what it is. Find and know your heart now. Seek only why you've made the choices you've made.
You're not waiting for love to find you. It's already a part of you.
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