Raindrop;1104691 wrote:I was talking to a fellow about a possible relationship and he said that he would be somewhat interested but that he "cannot be possessed".
So he says he's "somewhat interested" and then immediately drops a major hint that he's not looking for a relationship? Move on.
Any guy who warns you that he "can't be possessed" isn't looking for commitment. It's that simple. He's told you that pretty clearly, so I'd not bother with him.
To answer your questions:
Are men afraid of being possessed?
Those who fear commitment, sure. If they don't fear commitment itself, they may have had ultra-controlling girlfriends in the past and fear what he THINKS that commitment might mean to you. This is something you could talk to him about, but I'd still take being told that as a major red flag.
Do other women want to possess them?
Depends on how you mean that word, but in general, yes, I'd say so. I definitely want to possess my boyfriend. I want him to do the same to me.
It sure would explain years of trying to meet men only to have them flee at the first available chance
No, that is something else. You're going for the wrong guys. There are plenty of men who long for a committed relationship and would be totally cool with being "possessed" by you. Ask yourself why you are choosing the emotionally unavailable guys.
I want a man to be nice to me, not be mean to me, talk to me, listen to me and want me sexually, possibly even long term but i do not see that as possession.
It's a relationship. It's normal to want that regardless of what you call it.
Are regular women looking for more? Marriage? Kids? Years of mortgage payments, child support, "possession"? Is this what men fear when they see me smiling at them?
Yes for me for everything but the child support. Child support would imply you broke up, and I don't think anyone goes into a relationship wanting that. And like I said, many men want all of these things too. It has nothing to do with men vs women. You're attracting unavailable men for some reason. Most guys I've been with wanted to marry me much more than the opposite.
I have a job, a car, money, (i care little about money or belongings) i dont want a fancy house, or kids, have no interest in wedding rings...
You make it sound like if you DID want those things, it would be a crime or something. It's fine if you don't, bu either way, there is NOTHING wrong with that! There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting your partner to provide you with money, a car, a home. If you've got all that covered and don't feel you need it, great! That just means you will be happier on your own until you meet the right person. However, many men want kids, so that one will work against you as much as for you.
Just like anyone else, you just have to find the right person who wants what you do.
In fact, i have everything i want but i feel dreadfully unwanted.
This feeling is where you should begin your work. Why aren't you connecting to all you have to offer?
i have and be empowered to care about the future. What do i care about the future if i am alone?
Why do you need another person to care about the future?