The reason is, that she did some bad things to me, I tolerated all because I love her and I was thinking that if I forgive her first time she will change.
again, is this a person who make you happy? also... people dont change. actions change, but only she can want to change her actions for herself-not for you. a person only changes by wanting to be a better version of themselves for them, not you. otherwise it tends to be only temporary.
they don't understand how could I tolerate everything that she done to me. And I told them it is my way of how I want to treat others.
So in the end I lost my strength and good will
Dont let anyone take advantage of you. Even if you feel that you are doing good, remember one most ALWAYS take care of themselves first. If you keep giving away your food, soon you will have no food to feed yourself or to give. learn when to give and when not to give.
again. does she make you happy?
I might sound harsh, but I feel i've been in similar situations. the one i love the most in the entire world, is also the one who has hurt me the most. It has been a long lesson coming, each time i lay my soul bare for him to walk over, and each time he does. I wind up feeling hurt and broken, regardless of all the sweet words.
After awhile though... i get tougher. much like a callous. so vulnerable at first but after awhile it builds up thick skin, so that things hurt less.
I have learned... yes... waiting. But not waiting as in "Waiting". At this moment i am able to look at the world through my circumstances, and see everything as temporary. this is not the same me from 2 months ago, and this will not be the same me in 2 months from now. It helps curb expectation. I am always so fearful that if i say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing everything will fall apart like dust through my fingers. and it has truly, so many times. but it keeps coming back, another chance. maybe someday i will run out of chances. maybe i already have. but it unfolds and unfolds and unfolds. I am learning to be content with watching it unfold. curbing the expectation of what SHOULD be versus what WILL be. if that makes any sense.
I will not condemn this girl. I have done loved ones wrong as well. but you do not deserve to be with someone, or in a situation, that makes you unhappy.
when it is RIGHT it will be RIGHT.
we are only human, and this life just a series of lessons and experiences.... so no worries <3