a little story from my life, and a beg of advice

#1
Long long time ago, when I lost my mind first time (round 2013) I was on this forum. Unfortunately I can't remember the nickname and a password for my old account, I remember only that someone helped me by stating, that strange sensations in my mind might have been just me finding my higher self.

I was a newbie in spirituality back then.

Now, tho I have schizophrenia diagnosis, I'm also a practicating shaman. And a musician. Strange things still happen to me, and in me, but they don't shock me like they did, they make me wonder, think and act.

I am at the level, where free will is both illusion and truth to me and stuff

But this is not an issue.

There is one thing that still shocks me in some way, and I decided to come back to this forum to ask for advice.

I'm gonna try to include all the crucial information in the following text, however if you got any questions, ask.

Here we go.

So, in 2013, my first psychosis came to be. I started seeing and hearing crazy things, sun was following me from behind a clouds etc. One summer evening voices sang a song to me, and said I'm gonna hear it again years later, when my soulmate will sing it.
(Then I cried coz song was so beautiful, that I was angry, as a musician, that I am not the one to sing it, whiney boy I was)

Last summer I found that song on fucking YouTube...
Posting a link here: =KuAXv5qaSbQ

FUCK!

At the time I was during my 4th psychosis so full of joy I asked voices in my head "can you connect me with her?", Yes, they said. Now, here is conversation (I don't remember this one so clearly, so gonna just write most important sentences) that happened while later:
-woah, who is this? (This is girly voice in my head)
-i'm Jesus Christ! (This is me speaking out loud)
-its really you! I can't believe it!
-do you have a dick?
-i don't know, do ya?
-listen I'm gonna probably forget all this when I come to being a little more on Earth
-what can we do
-i don't know, eeeeee I'm good at reading symbols
-what do you look like?
-red pants, silver jacket, long hair.
-and I was stung by a bee, listen, wait for my next video. Over

Few months later she released this =fFNofGHHozg

WTF?!?! Fuck me, right?


From there on I'm writing to her daily, on her artist page, every message is marked read but she never responded.



Few days ago they let me out of mental hospital, and I plan to go to Berlin with a guitar, a mic and an amp to find her next summer, fuck my life.

Maybe you got better ideas what should I do, except lobotomy..

Re: a little story from my life, and a beg of advice

#2
Wow, there's a bit here. Well one, if you've been recommended medication, definitely take it to help you get over the rough times.
I would say, you should never feel like you need someone else to be complete. If you can't feel complete on your own, then no one will want to join you in life, but also, you can't make your life goal to be about getting a girl man. There's so much more out there than that.
It for sure sounds like you have a ton of negative energy swirling around inside you, so I hope you are able to find some peace. Take a moment to appreciate yourself, and visualize some of that negative energy leaving your body.

Re: a little story from my life, and a beg of advice

#6
Hello.
Just a note to say hi how are you as I have a lot to do today.Its good that everyone understands here that life is a spiritual journey taken at its own pace. By learning, experiment and development, we move up inour appreciation and understanding along our way.
Every step is the right one just of each of us.
Allow me to explain about skitz. Its no biggie. i lived with it from puperty. I have never allowed any kind of medication. The voices always treat me right. I can ask any advice. When they yat on, usually I listen and ignore them. Sometimes they get to me and I freak out.
Any answer or prediction is to order.

Not a curse I wish to lose to meds.

So the question you need to ask your voices is

is meeting this girl right for me?

If they say no, or dont have a fast and direct answer, then ask them what is best to do for you, as from what you write, it seems you are looking for someone.

however

The really intelligent thing to do is
flip the plan

put the boat out spiritually
and let that someone come to find you.
If you do it right, they will and quickly.
and it will be right.

Happens to me all the time.

best wishes :)
BUY:- "ADVENTURES ON THE ASTRAL PLANE" NOW ON AMAZON KINDLE.
EDITED AND ADDED-TO. YOURS TO KEEP AND ENJOY.

FORGET WHAT YOU WANT?
GET RID OF WHAT YOU NEED.
FRESH AIR AND SUNSHINE
WORKS FOR ALL TREES

Re: a little story from my life, and a beg of advice

#9
planetzarg wrote:
Tue Aug 06, 2019 9:28 am


The really intelligent thing to do is
flip the plan

put the boat out spiritually
and let that someone come to find you.
If you do it right, they will and quickly.
and it will be right.

Happens to me all the time.

best wishes :)
This is a great idea, tho I don't know what it means, and in fact, I have a better one


Ama wait. XD

If this girl is so important to me, it is not a coincidence, probably

So waiting for the future
Seems a good plan, don't you think?

Bit lazy, but lazy is often smart :p

Re: a little story from my life, and a beg of advice

#10
You can be equally as lazy by inviting someone special to find you and do the work.

by leaving messages for them to find you
on the spiritual plane.

This actual girl is not quite so important
as the real plan you have
confirmed by those in the spirit world
that they all recognise you.

If you ask for someone to find you properly
they will find you.

being a bum is not going to cut much mustard.
if you are lazy and think little of your need
you attach its true value to you to this plan
which seems to be, as far as you write here,
nearly zero.
The value you put on this girl you obsess over
is next to nothing

which reflects on your thinking, yes?

before you go out and make a mess
i suggest you cleanse yourself and prepare your soul
rather than just giving someone the chance to take it or leave it.
which would be hurtful on both sides
and utterly pointless
complete waste of time.

The behind issue is

if you are so desirable to the opposite sex
why are you not in a relationship now?
with a queue waiting?

fannying about with ideas is not going to cut it every day when the sun rises.
its real and you are dreaming.

someone close to you has to explain what it is to be a man.
BUY:- "ADVENTURES ON THE ASTRAL PLANE" NOW ON AMAZON KINDLE.
EDITED AND ADDED-TO. YOURS TO KEEP AND ENJOY.

FORGET WHAT YOU WANT?
GET RID OF WHAT YOU NEED.
FRESH AIR AND SUNSHINE
WORKS FOR ALL TREES
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