I feel lost.. and very scared.

#1
I feel lost in this world where no one can understand me and I feel lonely and scared on who I am and what I should be doing here. I've been told a while ago by my grandpa that I was some sort of "crystal child" and how I am different from the rest of the world. I felt like it was just a weird comment by him and forgot about it until I've finally discovered that I am completely different from everyday society and how I want to escape to a different place with no "mean humans". From that point on, I began researching what it means to potentially be "crystal" and when I discovered what it was, I felt exactly like one but didn't know where to go afterwards. So, I talked to my grandpa for a while about it and he helped me by directing me on what I should be doing next with this "gift". I've been keeping it a secret with my grandpa for over a year now, but suddenly, I felt disconnected by him and lost his trust due to his behavior with a family issue that happened last month. I then felt lost and scared and with no one else to trust in this world, been in a panic. Until today, when I curiously found this blog site about this whole group of people that feel just like me. I still feel off-place and feel like I don't belong here since this is "indigo" and not "crystal", but I am super lost on what i need to do to continue my way of life and decided to register here. I would like to know more about how or what I am and why I am here and not in a place where I should be.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#4
cheeneka wrote:
Tue Jan 15, 2019 7:35 pm
In other words. Sit in silence. Listen within. Then you will find what you seek.
LOve Cheeneka x
But what if others find it weird or make fun of you if you try and express yourself since it is not usual? Or you are really shy and don't know how to even express yourself or interact with others naturally? And btw thanks for responding ^~^

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#6
it helps to make sense of who you are. I am also an individual who feels out of place within this society. Sometimes my flesh overcomes my spirit, and I find myself conversing and relating to individuals of the world, but only for moments which don’t feel fulfilling. I pride myself in being unique and an indigo warrior, fighting for peace and love. Understand that you are unique and put on this earth to promote spiritual change, and also to enjoy life for what it will truly bring.

Wishes to light❤️
-greenman

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#7
greenmxnz wrote:
Sat Apr 06, 2019 2:35 am
it helps to make sense of who you are. I am also an individual who feels out of place within this society. Sometimes my flesh overcomes my spirit, and I find myself conversing and relating to individuals of the world, but only for moments which don’t feel fulfilling. I pride myself in being unique and an indigo warrior, fighting for peace and love. Understand that you are unique and put on this earth to promote spiritual change, and also to enjoy life for what it will truly bring.

Wishes to light❤️
-greenman
I rather let those who are interested in who I really am pursue me rather than me trying to find someone I can relate to. I am still trying to learn who I am and how I am connected to the spiritual world. I sadly do not trust to reveal my identity to others anymore due to the way they will look at me for being.. "crazy" or "maniac". I've had so many bad encounters with evil humans that I just hide away and try to live on my own the journey I have ahead. I wish the world wasn't very harsh on accepting others and wish it could change for the better :/

Also, Happy Earth Day! I felt a bit connected today to this holiday for some reason.. and thanks for responding ^~^ i would like to learn more about the spiritual world surrounding us and how or why we feel left out of this humanoid planet.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#8
I've spent a lot of my life hiding who I am, because I was burned so badly by trying to be myself before. It's been a wicked battle that's resulted in depression, addiction, instability, and worse. So I understand very well why you'd want to hide your identity from the world.

In my experience anyway, the process of solving this problem has come down to at least two things:

1) Finding my tribe. Finding the people who support me and remind me who I am when I doubt myself. Finding the connections that restore my soul. There's honestly no way, unless I am incredibly lucky, to find my tribe if I always hide who I am. Therefore, it is important to take the risk of being burned, and "letting my freak flag fly" so that the other "freaks" know where to find me. I may get hurt in doing so, but...

2) It's important to work on refining my ability to articulate my truth in a way that is logical, balanced, fair to other people's feelings, not defensive, and not overbearing or unreasonable. I used to be so focused on being myself that I would demand other people to accept me for who I was, not realizing that I was being really overbearing, overly defensive, and irrational. Not many people are going to take me very seriously if I'm like that. And sometimes, explaining who I am is difficult, and I know how it feels to be me, but I don't know how to put it into words. It has been insanely frustrating. But if we can't put ourselves into words, then how can we expect others to understand?

I am gifted with an ability to express myself using words, and even I have struggled immensely with not being able to express myself. So someone who feels like they can't express themselves with words must really feel up Shit's Creek.

So if you have difficulty expressing yourself, it may be important to find someone who can help you put your feelings into words, or even advocate on your behalf. Just so anyone reading this knows, I am more than willing to do that. Just ask. I've got your back.

So for me personally, finding my tribe and learning to express my truth (even when my voice shakes and my knees buckle) have been instrumental in my journey to transcend all that depression and addiction and stagnation.

When you're in your darkest period of suffering, just know somewhere deep in your soul that from that darkness comes the potential for the greatest and profoundest light. It's up to you to turn the darkness into light, by being steadfast in faith, by refining your perception of truth, by being a humble servant to others, and by letting your love shine through.

Namaste forever,
Andrew L. Hicks
  • Creative Entrepreneur
    Founder of the World Peace Party
    2020 US Presidential Candidate

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#9
and48302 wrote:
Tue Apr 23, 2019 5:58 pm
greenmxnz wrote:
Sat Apr 06, 2019 2:35 am
it helps to make sense of who you are. I am also an individual who feels out of place within this society. Sometimes my flesh overcomes my spirit, and I find myself conversing and relating to individuals of the world, but only for moments which don’t feel fulfilling. I pride myself in being unique and an indigo warrior, fighting for peace and love. Understand that you are unique and put on this earth to promote spiritual change, and also to enjoy life for what it will truly bring.

Wishes to light❤️
-greenman
I rather let those who are interested in who I really am pursue me rather than me trying to find someone I can relate to. I am still trying to learn who I am and how I am connected to the spiritual world. I sadly do not trust to reveal my identity to others anymore due to the way they will look at me for being.. "crazy" or "maniac". I've had so many bad encounters with evil humans that I just hide away and try to live on my own the journey I have ahead. I wish the world wasn't very harsh on accepting others and wish it could change for the better :/

Also, Happy Earth Day! I felt a bit connected today to this holiday for some reason.. and thanks for responding ^~^ i would like to learn more about the spiritual world surrounding us and how or why we feel left out of this humanoid planet.
I understand how you feel.
Also have a hard time trusting these days because of many things that have happened (strong reasons for this).
It is easy for someone who does not understand you to label you as crazy and other things.
Just remember that people judge from their own perspective. They judge from their ignorance, lack of self-love, narrow mindedness or fear. When someone does not have love within, that person cannot give love; it is simple as that. We are all mirrors to each other.

The people who are really secure and who have love within can easily accept others with their "weirdness" because they are not afraid, they are secure. You can feel the love that some people carry.

My advice, and what I am going through is to learn how to accept this; accept that not everyone is ready for what you have and for who you are and let them be. Focus on your inner power, your inner strength and inner security. This is a process of course but I think it is the way to cope with this society.

After all, you are living for yourself and not for others. You are your own journey; seeking love or approval leads to failure. If you seek the love and the approval, then find it in yourself.

Self love is a powerful healer. Love yourself and feel proud of who you are; this includes your darkness aswell.

People who hate and judge too much forget that it is themselves who they hate and who they cannot accept. It is their path.

You find your own worth within and when you find it, then you can face the world with real love and security. When you do this you become a magnet for others who are on a similar level.

Life gives us lessons and we usually must live a process first. }

Everyone has shadows (the whole meaning if the word). Rejecting others simply means lack of self-acceptance and fear of facing the inner shadows. Always easier to point fingers than looking within, as there is fear within too.
And if you feel that someone is evil or harmful towards you, you can just walk away and focus on your inner strength. After all, you are a free being and you have the right to live for yourself; to go ahead in your journey the way you are meant to. Negativity brings valuable lessons.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#10
I would love to talk to both of you about advices on how to tackle these problems and trying to find a "tribe" of people that feel similar to me. I've wandered everyone to try and find someone I can relate to and I think I have finally stumbled upon a place where I can freely share this and maybe share my experiences with others. I am also honored that a lot of people answered to this thread in a very accepting manner and I would like to talk to you all sometime ^~^. I have recently been a tad bit open to others that have the patience to comprehend me, but I would still like to connect to someone, someone I can look up to, or continue to lead me on my journey of figuring out who I really am and what psychic abilities or powers I can develop or already have but do not know how to use them.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#11
Whenever you want you can talk to me.
I think I am open minded and also a bit "weird" maybe.

However, I would advice that you do not try to look up to anyone as no one is superior to you.
Some people have some wisdom to share and that is great. To connect and to share with like-minded people or at least with people who are open minded and in the quest for truth, knowledge, self-awareness, etc.
But you are your guide. People share knowledge and awareness but you are living your path and discovering who you really are :)

Truth is something to find deep within one´s consciousness.
But sharing is great and helpful anyways.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#12
I will take your advice.. I didn't mean it to sound like I am under an authoritarian figure, I just want to learn more about myself by trying to find people I can connect to or a book written by someone with similar experiences. I've had weird feelings recently, like perceiving moments or events that might happen in the future, and I would like to control them as they develop due to me not differentiating between what is imaginary and what is reality. I still feel lost on what this feeling is, or what I am supposed to do with it, since I don't want it to cause any harm, so, that is why I want to learn from others to gain some knowledge on what this feeling is and any others I have felt.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#16
Day #1
I know who i am and where i belong.

I know what love is, where i want to be, and with whom i can trust my heart.

we know if you like someone(s) it is natural and easy to go there and just be there with them

it's known that the needs and interests of the persons you choose to love become your responsibility and in your own best interests to fulfill

its understandable that when you become attached to another person or group all members rise to the defence and safety of each other when necessary

and we know those who offer others dignity respect and love usually receive the same in return from most of the people they will ever encounter.

I am putting myself on a mission. i dont care how long it takes, how hard it is, or what i have to do. i want to become worthy of acceptance by the people who love me that i have also chosen to care for.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#17
drsongman wrote:
Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:02 pm
I am new here. Wanted to say I very much appreciated the post. One can definitely feel lost in this angry, mean world.
Just now.. I've been going through a rough patch this week, so I appreciate everyone's comments, I really do..

I wish people were more accepting of us, even though we feel left out of this world, or feel hurt by them. It would be nice if they even helped us in our journey, or mission. I always try and keep my hopes up, but I feel that the more we live on, the harder it gets to keep holding onto that dream, or happiness. I am not sure if questioning the world is helping, or hurting like: Will this endless cycle end? When will I discover my quest? Why am I in this.. terrible planet? I have a lot of questions and I really want answers, but I do not know where to go to start to figure them out.

That last part might have been a little negative, but we got to stay hopeful, let time run its course and show us the answers, while we try and endure the humans that live in this place, is the way I see it.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#18
These two quotes are from... well, it doesn't matter,
i hope that you find them useful.

The mind directs
the energy of the physical entity
into harmony with the state of the universe.
When all about you is frantic chaos,
do not be absorbed by the crashing of gongs,
the screams of the hysterical,
or the wailing of the grievous.
Become one with the rocks that never feel the need
to weep.
Become a part of the plains that never feel the need
to shift about at the whim of minor happenings.
Your roots are buried deep.
Like those of the mountains.


You are not locked in that body of yours.
Your mind can soar and join other minds.
Do not be afraid
to explore
the dynamic potentiality of all things in the universe.
Quest ever on.
To know
feel
and be
all that you possibly can.
Become a part of the ethereal
and look down upon the earth as it plays its part in the cosmos.
Tap the knowledge of the heavens
to see the scheme of impersonal totality
and become a part
of the mind and eyes of God.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#20
and48302 wrote:
Fri Aug 23, 2019 8:24 pm
drsongman wrote:
Fri Aug 02, 2019 11:02 pm
I am new here. Wanted to say I very much appreciated the post. One can definitely feel lost in this angry, mean world.
Just now.. I've been going through a rough patch this week, so I appreciate everyone's comments, I really do..

I wish people were more accepting of us, even though we feel left out of this world, or feel hurt by them. It would be nice if they even helped us in our journey, or mission. I always try and keep my hopes up, but I feel that the more we live on, the harder it gets to keep holding onto that dream, or happiness. I am not sure if questioning the world is helping, or hurting like: Will this endless cycle end? When will I discover my quest? Why am I in this.. terrible planet? I have a lot of questions and I really want answers, but I do not know where to go to start to figure them out.

That last part might have been a little negative, but we got to stay hopeful, let time run its course and show us the answers, while we try and endure the humans that live in this place, is the way I see it.
it is important to question the world. We are here to make a change, not to conform, not to fit in. However, I believe each of us has some fundamental changes to go through and this is what many people do not want to see. Change starts within, each of us. People need their own transformation; there are no human angels or saints in this world.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#21
have faith. learn and understand.
each of us has access to the divine spark
the door to endless power
some deny and play their shadow games
told to by those who use them as slaves
to build their shadows larger.

these are the lost souls that deny life

the power of one is the power of all
believe and the way will be clear to you
the light will shine if you believe.
your light
your power.
i am no one
or anyone
or all.
the most I can teach
is to show you the way
i have only one candle
to shine little in the wilderness

all are welcome to see its light
and be guided by its direction
for as long and as far as they wish.

to walk beside me away
and take a few moments to think
consider
debate
and reflect on themsleves.

The way of your power
your true power of light
is within each of you.
to reach it
every journey begins with the first step.

close your ears to the dark sayers
who drink of your blood
while they smiling, warm and fiendly
teach lies and slavery
and have you tugging for crumbs at their sleeves for all your life
to die alone and broken-
a wizzened horse sent to their butcher for dog meat
after all your profits you gave to them FOR FREE.

Your time is NOT for sale.
Your time is for your journey.
Only sometimes you need of their sustinance
to have the breath to continue.
It is NOT a contract of slavery.

step into the light
and know yourself
know your way
find your path
and see the truth
of your power.

you it is
who are holding yourself back
from spoken fears and torments and wicked tales.
listen not to the voices of the dark
close your ears to their tattle
cleanse your mind from their wickedness
to climb their false ladders
and slide their poison snakes-
all fake games
distractions
to entertain and perplex and misdirect
while they keep you in their power.

the light is free in all.
born in each of us the same
to learn and find.
NO DRUGS OR SLAVERY NEEDED.
all are open to the light.
this is your birthright to freely journey to
and then acquire, accept and use
by joining with others or alone.
as you wish by your choice.

it is your single journey to make.
your choices to deny and/or make.

remove yourself from the shadows of the dark places
turn your back to those who call after you
'come back, see these gifts i will bestow on you...
come back'
their gifts are worthless toys and trinkets, every one.
more worthless than their testimony, ideas, and fake preaching.
each toy breaks quickly with fake promises of satisfaction.
each trinket painted base is a second of pleasure for none to care.

turn your back on all these sellers of lies
walk determined
teeth clenched
step stout and steady
past each of their desperate faces,
endless shouting tongues,
eyes full of yearning tears
hands pleading, tugging at you
voices as hungry babes
sick with hollow death
ignore them all.
walk away from the illcharmed power of their shadows
and journey towards the light

your light.

every step is a moment spent right
along your chosen path

continue
continue
continue.

fend off all and every ambush.
cross all mountains and valleys.
be sure only of your spark
only your candle
only your light.

when you find your epiphany

stay there. inside.

the darks will see your light and want it
to steal it
for a minute
an hour
or all
and feed from its power
to leave you broken and lost.
stay alone in your light
the darks cannot go inside unless you allow
be there for you
stay.

when you look over the heads of the dark ones
calling to you and snake-wailing their lie songs

you will see others lit out in the wilderness

others like you

you will see them and feel them and know them

and then
only then

you will know the secrets of The Joining.



blessings. :)
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