Re: Have you ever...

they can facilitate collective consciousness, and other things we can't understand yet.
They are what they are.
Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation and forgot what you were going to say?
Think clearly, what touched your awareness in that moment?
This is one way they can touch our consciousness, to cloud our minds.
They rely on our not knowing, not being aware of their existence, then we just go along with their influences.

Re: Have you ever...

Have you ever been too proud to ask for help? I have. But not right now.

I think I'm losing my mind. I feel like my true self has been hidden from me in the dark & because of this I'm stuck in the shadow of myself.

I'm clinging to my life.

I would appreciate any help, please.

As I sit at my desk at work right now, heavy dark energy attacks my mind. Invasive thoughts & oppressive energy. Its extremely painful, making it hard to think, hard to function.

Re: Have you ever...

Unique wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 11:42 am
Have you ever been too proud to ask for help? I have. But not right now.

I think I'm losing my mind. I feel like my true self has been hidden from me in the dark & because of this I'm stuck in the shadow of myself.

I'm clinging to my life.

I would appreciate any help, please.

As I sit at my desk at work right now, heavy dark energy attacks my mind. Invasive thoughts & oppressive energy. Its extremely painful, making it hard to think, hard to function.
You are still in a journey towards discovering your true self. I think It will come.
Sounds like a negative attachment to me. From a low entitiy or spirit.
I would advice to look for ways to get rid of this energetic parasite. I believe it is a parasite because you mention the energy is "intrusive".
In the meantime, you can help yourself releasing the tension and stuck energy from your system.
For this, I advise acupressure around the area of tension/pain. For example, if it is between the eyes and brows, then firmly massage all area surrounding it, specially in the points that feel stiff and painful. You may experience energy releases around your body, just relax and let go and massage until the pain and tension are gone and you feel the relief.
Also, it is very handy to have a face massager tool and to massage the whole face and head and/or with the fingers, releasing stuck energy and tensions.
This brings relief and more clarity if you do it for several minutes at least.
Also, I think it is very important to get good and enough rest, whenever the head or body needs it and to try to keep yourself hydrated.

If you feel you need spiritual help, you can ask for it to the spiritual realm. Make your connection to it and ask for help, for the release and healing of this negativity, for protection to God, the Divine, the angels or whatever spirituality that makes you feel connected
These are things you could try to get relief and more clarity.

Re: Have you ever...

Thank you for the replies. I appreciate the guidance.

cheeneka, I looked up the poem, I like it. I'm trying to realize my true gift. We are the light...

Red Violet 3, I tried the massage technique you described and it helped, I'll continue to use it. I dont always drink the best stuff..I'm addicted to Cola. I try to get enough rest, sometimes I dont sleep very well.

Re: Have you ever...

Unique wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 8:31 pm
Have you ever felt like you got a big head, or too big for your britches? Then spewed a lot of crap. I have. I'm sorry.
faith in god... faith in yourself... faith in each other

amongst other things, im here to make sure we all get there.

we're indigoes... we only win, even when we lose, we never lose,
we make win/win's better than anyone else can... because we can... when we do

Re: Have you ever...

I grew up on a small dairy farm in CNY. In a big old farm house with lots of room to roam. The barn was set not far from the house, we'll get to that later. The house was originally built in the late 1700's. Around the 1770's I think, big rooms, 7 foot doorways and ample space. This house was used as a landmark on maps in the 1800's because there was nothing else around.

I drew some childlike drawings of the various 1st floor rooms to give you an idea of the layout. The floorplan changed a couple times, but in my life there it was as I've drawn for you.

Six generations of my family lived in this house and grew up there. Each generation the parents left and one child remained. My Mother was the last that this happened to. She became the one to sort through six generations of odd relics & things kept for unknown various reasons. Like the antique chamber pot & water pitcher stored in the first attic. I must have walked by it a hundred times or more growing up. It was white glass with blue etchings. I always wondered why it was kept & for what purpose.

This house like many houses of that age was filled with doorways, nooks, & interesting things they dont do anymore with new homes. There was a double sided fireplace in the center of the house. One fireplace in the dining room, another in the living room. Back in the day I'm sure they used them for heat. When I lived there we used the fireplace in the living room, occasionally. The fireplace in the dining room was closed off, covered up. The only thing remaining was a mantle above where it was. A piano was placed in front of where the fireplace used to be & if you didn't know, you wouldn't ever know what was truly there.

I'm not sure how old I was when I decided our house was haunted. I used to have dreams of an older man with old fashioned clothes chasing me around the house, through the garage, & then into the tool room. I remember being frozen with fear in the doorway between the garage & tool room with him breathing down my neck. He could see me & I could see him. It was years before I realized he was one of the original owners of that house. He was a dark & twisted soul. During the day you would be alone watching TV or doing anything really, when you'd hear footfalls. You'd call out, go looking, no one there. Then you'd hear them upstairs. You'd go look, no one there. Occasionally I'd feel like he was close or staring because the hair would stand up on the back of my neck.

I hated him. He tortured my dreams. Always the same at night, chasing me around the house, "I know what you are little girl." During the day it was footfalls, doors that wouldn't stay closed, or that opened by themselves, cupboards that opened, TV's that changed channels or shut off at will. I dont think he liked music. When I was a teen we finally got cable & MTV. Back then I'd watch videos. He'd always change the channel or shut the TV off. It was nothing out of the ordinary in our house to yell, "I'm living You're dead!"

When I was about ten I was watching Saturday morning cartoons, a little close to the TV, hoping my Mother who was in the kitchen didn't notice. All of a sudden all the cupboards opened. I heard it and turned to look. From in front of the TV I had a direct view into the kitchen. My Mother closed every door. Whispering, "this is not funny, this is our house now." Right after she closed them they all opened again. This time my Mother was having none of it. She yelled, "In the name of Jesus you will stop." She shut every cupboard, told me to shut off the TV & come on. We went outside & worked in the flower garden along the back porch.

There was also a female presence in the house. My Mother, in the the right company will tell of the time she watched as the oven door opened & closed as if someone else was checking the roast she had in the oven. I saw her in my early teens. She had long dark hair & was wearing an old fashioned white underdress or nightgown. It had eyelets down the front drawn together with a ribbon & a ruffle around the hem, near the floor.
Silently she walked past me and straight through the 1st attic door next to my bed. Half of the second floor was attic.

That night I dreamed I was sitting in the kitchen window waiting for my lover to arrive. My father was in the barn. It was the plan, my lover was to come and take me with him, away from my abusive father. When I saw him in the moonlight I raced outside. My father came out of the barn & caught us trying to leave. There was a huge fight, my father killed my lover. I woke & sat straight up in bed. There she was the spirit I'd seen earlier, at the foot of my bed. She raised up off the floor & I saw an image of her hanging. As if she'd taken her own life. I've never really talked about it with my family, except to say there was a female spirit in the house too. Not just the grumpy male spirit.

It wasnt all hauntings & weird outbursts. There were a lot of good memories too. I used to go down to the creek across the road from the house. I'd cross the heifer pasture and take my time wading through the knee high grass. At the creek I'd wade in, no shoes, no sense of time or purpose. I'd watch the fish & practice skipping rocks. Older brothers are always better at such things, so I'd practice while they weren't around. One day while I was walking back through the heifer pasture a reporter stopped. He wanted to take a picture of the heifers lined up near the road eating the fresh feed my Dad had just given them. I told him it was ok.
A couple days later the picture was in the newspaper, Oneida Daily Dispatch. My Dad wasnt thrilled. He said something about opening it up for people to criticize how he raised his animals.

The barn was located just northwest of the house. The old barn burned in 1976, I was just 5. I was dreaming of being in the barn, when there was a flash of light. Then my Mom was waking me up telling me to put my shoes & housecoat on. She helped me, quickly. My bedroom walls glowed orange. She walked me to the living room and told me to stay with the dog, Buffer. The flames from the barn cast an orange glow on the room. I could hear my Mother talking to people in the dining room. Buffer laid down on the floor, clutching my patchwork quilt baby blanket, I laid down. I fell asleep laying on the dog as my pillow. Through all the chaos I slept. Without me knowing it, my Mother took a picture of me & the dog. White, long haired, big dog curled up with a small child sleeping in her orange flowered housecoat & shoes. She always remarked it was the strangest thing. Buffer didn't like strangers, but he never once tried to leave the room with me.

The smell of burnt cow wafted in the air until the cows could be buried. It wasn't pleasant. Slowly the new barn was built & just about every area farmer, friend, & relative came to lend a hand. One of the first nights after getting more cows my Father went out to check on the cows as he did nightly. He came in white as a sheet. I overheard him telling my Mother that he just saw her Grandfather walking the manger, checking it out for himself.

My Grandparents made sure my brothers & I had some fun too. Not just all farm work & odd ghostly encounters. My Grandfather loved the outdoors, all seasons. He had 5 snowmobiles, & in the winter between chores we would ride. We occasionally went to Tug Hill & rode the many trails there. It was cold. I remember thinking more than once I was going to get frostbite. I have fond memories of riding snow packed hills with my brothers, getting stuck in deep fresh snow & even bouncing off the back once when my brother crossed the road. I'm laughing now, because my panicked brother was freaking out. He kept saying, what happened, weren't you hanging on? I was, but obviously not tight enough. Good thing I was wearing my helmet. Wear helmets kids!

Re: Have you ever...

I tried to make an all together floor plan of the first floor, hopefully it makes more sense than individual rooms.

Once when I was a teenager I was showering after barn chores. I had my radio in the bathroom & music cranked pretty loud. All of a sudden someone was pounding on the bathroom door. I say pounding because the door was shaking on its hinges. Every door was a solid wood Christian door with wrought iron antique latches. No knobs.

The door vibrated on its hinges with the banging, but no one spoke. I got out of the shower, turned down the music & opened the door. No one there. I called one. I thought my Dad was in the barn, Mother at work, & brothers still with Dad. I was shaking, so startled from the banging. When nothing happened I knew it was the grumpy male spirit. The hair stood up all over my body.

It bothered me that we lived in a house one notch down from Amityville horror and I attribute a lot of my childhood trauma & struggles to that house. None of my friends talked about ghosts at their houses, so I didn't either.

As an adult I still dont talk about it much.

Re: Have you ever...

I'm here. I'm here, right here. I know your angry or something's wrong. Please come home. Please come play. God tell me they still know how to play.

Ollie Ollie Oxen free. Ollie Ollie Oxen free.
I see you, you see me! I can feel the eyes..

Ollie Ollie ((Aaaaaaaacenfree))

I need you & you need me..


Re: Have you ever...

I had another one of these things come to my mind this morning. I awoke feeling refreshed, yet delicate. It was dawn, a bright orange & red sky gleamed at me.

Then this..

Everybody up, let's go
Everybody up, let's go
A new day is dawning
It's the morning
Everybody up, let's go
Say good bye to the night
Open your eyes see the light
Everybody up, let's go

In a whisper I sang it, with extended vowels.

Re: Have you ever...

Unique wrote:
Mon Sep 30, 2019 4:09 pm
LaTortoiseNoir, I am not the best person to ask that.

alejo18qd, I'm glad you mentioned this, thank you. I saw another time & place when the words came to me. A large grassy lawn, with a big stone house.
The symbols that I know are based on the pentagrams but kind of differents and with certain changes.
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