Weirdspace

#1
I feel very much as if I've lost my connection to anything and everything.. to higher Self, and any semblance of awareness.. I had it - even maybe 18 months ago... but then life just kind of screwed me over and it was gone. Of course I say this as someone who is able to, somehow, when called upon, recall information and hear what's being given to me from beyond - but overall I just feel kind of lost. 
How can I get back to "where I was" (knowing that we are always moving forward and not wanting to actually go back in time or space)? And please don't tell me meditation - because if I hear that again I'm going to scream. 
I have made great strides in SO many ways.. practically speaking.. life prospect speaking... but I feel so detached from the Being I once thought I was. 
I need some help to move forward - even if it's just a thought or idea. 
<3
ION Stabilized Oxygen

Re: Weirdspace

#2
I connect in silence but it isn't always meditation. Beauty and creativity are mana for the soul. Get a canvas and some paints and lose all control and just let your soul paint, journey of it's own accord.......you may be surprised by the outcome. Don't paint anything in particular just what ever flows...........works for me. :) you don't have to be able to paint to do this.

Look for beauty, walk in nature, find something humorous, play some beautiful music, cry, it is hard to be positive, sometimes we have to work at it at certain times in our lives.

That is where the growth comes.

LOve cheeneka x

Re: Weirdspace

#3
I am not sure what you mean by feeling "detached"... Does it mean you feel like you are not being loved by Spirit? Or does it mean you dont believe in the Spirit or Higher self now?
My guess is, if one person feels detached, then it must be from Love. My guess would be that you might feel you are not being loved by your higher self. I am not sure what is your situation, im just guessing here :)
If such is the case, when we dont feel real love for ourselves, we find it hard to receive love from others (including Spirit, Higher Self, the Universe, God, etc), because we find it hard to believe we are worthy of receiving love and our perception shapes our reality. When we lack this feeling, we are drawn into negativism and loneliness... And when this happens, we attract bad stuff into our lives and feel even worse... Its a vicious circle that is not always easy to get out of.
My idea is to first accept your bad situation as something that you can learn from and become a stronger and better person (easier said than done, thats right). Second, make a strong determination inside your mind to not vitimize yourself and to become better and change your situation (this is because we are creators too, with our mind and energy. So if you want to get better, focusing on feeling weak, lonely and bad will def not help you). Third, I would definately try calling upon Spirit for help... This is where I think our true power lies... In our connection with our Higher Self. The good thing is, even if we feel lost or detached, our Higher Self never leaves... It is always there and its completely aware of us and everything else. We become powerful when we become one with that source. So that being said, I would ask this source for help. I would try asking this source to help me heal and feel the love and connection again. I would try this for some days but with faith because this "Counciousness" is always aware... You on your side can help by trying to control your thoughts. Try not to let yourself drawn to negativity.
This is obviously not an easy path and requires self control, faith, maybe patience... But who said the spiritual path was an easy one? ;)
Finally, do something good for yourself as much as you can. Even if its something like putting beautiful and relaxing music that inspires you like Hobby said. Or get closer to animals that soften you and make your love come up. Try to do whatever that makes you feel better; music is a great start :)

Hope this helped! I am not sure what your situation is of course, but this is what I would do if I was in your position.

Good luck and happiness to you!

Re: Weirdspace

#4
I want to thank you all for your input.

"Detachment" for me is lack of connection. It's not necessarily to higher Self, but to anything. Like air, things float in and out and I see that they are there but I don't tend to care.. If I was Zen it would be magical.. I am not Zen.. or not trying to be anyway.

I'm not in a "bad" situation. Quite the contrary. I have many of the things that I have worked for for a very long time. I've "achieved". I've gone out into nature (although not as much as I probably should or need to).I have pet the cats. I have looked around me. I have sung. I have done many things that would theoretically encourage some form of connection to self or others.

But I feel very little. It's not "negative" - except perhaps in a state of lack.. it's just.. emptiness. I have been on this path a long time - although I don't know that I identify with it being a "path" anymore.. It just IS. It's Life. I acknowledge that it's not supposed to be easy or hard or whatever. I don't believe that I'm fighting anymore. Rather I'm accepting things that are happening around me and doing what I can to support them or alter them if need be.

It is a feeling of being on a precipice.. but more often the precipice is like walking into a dark tunnel that's about to envelope me. It's not the dark, scary or bad.. it's just dark. Anything could be out there - good, bad, exciting.. or nothing could be out there.. it feels like nothing. but maybe not.

<3

Re: Weirdspace

#6
I have been to this place you speak about sentiennne, I felt numb, like the light had gone out in my soul.
I lost my passion for life.
It was a temporary state, it was my way of wrapping myself up in cotton wool against a world I no longer felt part of.
We hibernate sometimes until we have healed enough to find our passion again.
Take the time to heal and when you are ready, passion for life will find you.

LOve cheeneka x

Re: Weirdspace

#7
Maybe this lack of feeling, lack of connection, is your Soul trying to tell you that you should follow a new purpose? Could it be that your Soul is feeling that you are not doing what you are supposed to do? I am just guessing here!
But feeling numb and detached is not the normal way to feel about life I guess. They usually mean there is a needed change.
I think our souls come to this world to do something specific... And when we dont follow that, we might feel lost and without passion and bored. This usually means that there is a change needed.

Re: Weirdspace

#8
I have been healing... even though some unrest remains, it's nothing like what it was.. there is less to be in turmoil about... No need to stay on high alert. There is nothing to be numb to.

I'm quite aware of my purpose. I am following it - in stepping stone format. Rome wasn't built in a day and I acknowledge that.. I'm only newly "minted" in my profession.. I knew this would be what would be happening in the beginning. I am as ok with it as I am able to be.

I miss "feeling". Shaj, I think you said it best - why long after things you already know.. I want to feel again... not the sadness that I've felt in the past, or suffering of sickness or love lost.. those things are gone and provide no purpose to me now.

I want to see new things with the eyes of a child - like I used to... everything in wonder. I want to feel the pulse of the Earth and all the creatures in and on it like I used to - but all with new eyes and new hands (and a new perspective). There's so much that I know that I'm missing...

<3

Re: Weirdspace

#9
Purpose.....This is just my own personal opinion........

When we realise we are love and that we do not have to love or be loved that we are independent of love.....

Then love is attracted to us. :)

LOve cheeneka x

Re: Weirdspace

#10
sentienne wrote:I have been healing... even though some unrest remains, it's nothing like what it was.. there is less to be in turmoil about... No need to stay on high alert. There is nothing to be numb to.

I'm quite aware of my purpose. I am following it - in stepping stone format. Rome wasn't built in a day and I acknowledge that.. I'm only newly "minted" in my profession.. I knew this would be what would be happening in the beginning. I am as ok with it as I am able to be.
[font=Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif]had it - even maybe 18 months ago... but then life just kind of screwed me over and it was gone. Of course I say this as someone who is able to, somehow, when called upon, - See more at: https://indigosociety.com/post1953975.html#p1953975[/font]
I miss "feeling". Shaj, I think you said it best - why long after things you already know.. I want to feel again... not the sadness that I've felt in the past, or suffering of sickness or love lost.. those things are gone and provide no purpose to me now.

I want to see new things with the eyes of a child - like I used to... everything in wonder. I want to feel the pulse of the Earth and all the creatures in and on it like I used to - but all with new eyes and new hands (and a new perspective). There's so much that I know that I'm missing...

<3
Hello .... It could be spiritutal, mental emotional or even just physical.  Alot has already been addressed in the other posts.
Detachment can be accompanied by low level tensions that can create spacy feelings or being disconnected from your surroundings. This can effect my awareness and being able to feel. Feeling the warmth of the sun and physical activity can help if the new job is too mental. 
If you where in Fla 18 months ago maybe you miss it at some level, but I think you already mentioned liking Portland alot. So that is a shot in the dark.
Portland has the real cool drive up the gorge with all the small waterfalls.  And the windsurfers in the river. I would stop and take the different walks up the cliffs.  That should help feel the Earth again. I think you mentioned Portland?
Tim
Peace

Re: Weirdspace

#11
I'm not in Portland.. and actually quite dislike it... I avoid going there like the plague. And no.. I have absolutely no love for Florida... would get a handful out of there and then drop the whole state in the ocean.

Regardless of the block, nothing I have tried as of yet (including nature and nearly all of the things mentioned above) has worked.

<3

Re: Weirdspace

#12
Hi

Then maybe you need some tough love..............

You say you want to reconnect but only on your terms...you don't want to meditate.

Maybe you should if you don't already start helping others ie: homeless people and people in real need.

People like that may teach you what it is to feel hopeless and helpless.

It is by giving sometimes that we receive.

LOve cheeneka x

Re: Weirdspace

#13
sentienne wrote:I'm not in Portland.. and actually quite dislike it... I avoid going there like the plague. And no.. I have absolutely no love for Florida... would get a handful out of there and then drop the whole state in the ocean.

Regardless of the block, nothing I have tried as of yet (including nature and nearly all of the things mentioned above) has worked.

<3
Quite logical, as you once again try more or less the same old things. Which, although connected with beautiful memories as you said, only direct you back to the past. Doors open in the past and now closed only lead you to the one meant to be open for you at this particular time and spiritual evolution stage.
I have been at the place you are now and totally understand. And quite  often my Spirit dwells in the Void you experience. It is not a comfortable place, but it is evolution nevertheless. The only compass that will really work and get you in a better place (although maybe not what you expected..) lies inside you and no one else.
When you let the echoes of the past fade a bit, and when you take your mind off the nostalgia, then you may hear your Soul's voice, when the clutter and ambient noise subside. A Void is only created so it can be filled with the New. 
What does your Soul's voice say ? Heed the pull that lies deep inside. Believe me, it is there. and in my case it indeed led me to better, wiser and more tranquil places.
See the world with the eyes of a child indeed....but couple this with the wisdom of an Old Soul. Only this is true balance, and not the naivete of Youth. Come full circle...but do walk the perimeter ;)

Re: Weirdspace

#14
Well to me, one of the key point of zen is not to expect a specific state, or doing any effort or action in order to reach a specific state.It more as to do with being comfortable with whatever state you experience. All have it's reason, and i see too many people seing spirituality as some kind of entertainement or almost like an happy drug in order to reach some state of happyness, that's not zen, that's kind of euphoria and if you always want to go against 'negative' state, without digging the whole reason why it's there to begin with, you're  seeking a state of unbalance, with a specific action which is not seeking the zen, you can't be really zen if you are always seeking to reach a state that you are not in naturally. If you constantly want to 'fight' negative state, or wondering what you have done or should do in order to avoid it, you're never going to be zen. Zen can only happen as the acceptance of anything that happen to you, either good or bad, and not necessarily seeing negative state as some sort of failure to achieve a desired spiritual state.

Re: Weirdspace

#15
sentienne wrote:I'm not in Portland.. and actually quite dislike it... I avoid going there like the plague. And no.. I have absolutely no love for Florida... would get a handful out of there and then drop the whole state in the ocean.

Regardless of the block, nothing I have tried as of yet (including nature and nearly all of the things mentioned above) has worked.

<3
Hello... I guess i got the words mixed up between Portland and liking something about "out west" someplace. Oh well.
I do recall some dislike about Fla, I should have said at some unconscious level. Which is why i said its a shot in the dark.
Anyways, ........ these feelings of disconnection sometimes take time to pass.  Its sometimes hard to pinpoint a specific reason. As it can be a combination of things. And sometimes defining the reason does not really help the cure.  
Tim
Peace

Re: Weirdspace

#17
Haroeris wrote:Quite logical, as you once again try more or less the same old things. Which, although connected with beautiful memories as you said, only direct you back to the past. Doors open in the past and now closed only lead you to the one meant to be open for you at this particular time and spiritual evolution stage.
I have been at the place you are now and totally understand. And quite  often my Spirit dwells in the Void you experience. It is not a comfortable place, but it is evolution nevertheless. The only compass that will really work and get you in a better place (although maybe not what you expected..) lies inside you and no one else.
When you let the echoes of the past fade a bit, and when you take your mind off the nostalgia, then you may hear your Soul's voice, when the clutter and ambient noise subside. A Void is only created so it can be filled with the New. 
What does your Soul's voice say ? Heed the pull that lies deep inside. Believe me, it is there. and in my case it indeed led me to better, wiser and more tranquil places.
See the world with the eyes of a child indeed....but couple this with the wisdom of an Old Soul. Only this is true balance, and not the naivete of Youth. Come full circle...but do walk the perimeter ;)
I want to thank you... again.. for this.. Haroeris...
Chapters remain to be completed in this book - and perhaps some of them are transitional towards the future (progress, perhaps?)
The "void" is uncomfortable.. because it doesn't feel like stasis and it doesn't feel like progress.. it's not turmoil.. it just is.... One of my "concerns" is currently being able to hear the voice inside mySelf (feeling detached).. and listen to that "Soul's voice". It's the most quiet the inside of my head has ever been.....(it's still pretty noisy). 
It's not a matter of doing things "on my own terms".. but rather the things I've mentioned are things I've tried that have not worked. I don't know what my terms are (which is why I posed the question to the group).... the standards: meditation, solitude, nature, etc - have not yet worked. The drawing board still exists. 

Re: Weirdspace

#18
Then ask yourself what it is that is missing and what you would like or how you can replace it?

Ask your own guidance.

You have a deep connection to spirit and all you are asked to do is TRUST. :)

LOve cheeneka x

Re: Weirdspace

#20
sentienne wrote:
Haroeris wrote:Quite logical, as you once again try more or less the same old things. Which, although connected with beautiful memories as you said, only direct you back to the past. Doors open in the past and now closed only lead you to the one meant to be open for you at this particular time and spiritual evolution stage.
I have been at the place you are now and totally understand. And quite  often my Spirit dwells in the Void you experience. It is not a comfortable place, but it is evolution nevertheless. The only compass that will really work and get you in a better place (although maybe not what you expected..) lies inside you and no one else.
When you let the echoes of the past fade a bit, and when you take your mind off the nostalgia, then you may hear your Soul's voice, when the clutter and ambient noise subside. A Void is only created so it can be filled with the New. 
What does your Soul's voice say ? Heed the pull that lies deep inside. Believe me, it is there. and in my case it indeed led me to better, wiser and more tranquil places.
See the world with the eyes of a child indeed....but couple this with the wisdom of an Old Soul. Only this is true balance, and not the naivete of Youth. Come full circle...but do walk the perimeter ;)
I want to thank you... again.. for this.. Haroeris...
Chapters remain to be completed in this book - and perhaps some of them are transitional towards the future (progress, perhaps?)
The "void" is uncomfortable.. because it doesn't feel like stasis and it doesn't feel like progress.. it's not turmoil.. it just is.... One of my "concerns" is currently being able to hear the voice inside mySelf (feeling detached).. and listen to that "Soul's voice". It's the most quiet the inside of my head has ever been.....(it's still pretty noisy). 
It's not a matter of doing things "on my own terms".. but rather the things I've mentioned are things I've tried that have not worked. I don't know what my terms are (which is why I posed the question to the group).... the standards: meditation, solitude, nature, etc - have not yet worked. The drawing board still exists. 
Hey i thank you too, friend. Because you made me realize some invaluable things. Fitting only my personal path of course. That sentence "see the world with the eys of a child"...it made me think some more. Do kids care to meditate, worry about ascension, conspiracy theories, the essence of the divine etc etc ? Duuhh...nope ! What do kids do, furthermore why are kids happy ?
Because children play.
And instantly i recalled an article i had read some time ago, about the transition from puberty to adulthood. There's sadness in this period of our lives, because we subconsciously feel the inner child fading, giving way to the adult inside us. The magic and color and innocence fade away gradually. And the grey world of adulthood creeps in. Yup there's grief in this.
I believe it's similar regarding spirituality. You said "it's not a matter of doing things on my own terms" Quite the contrary i believe. We must or should do things on our own terms. What works for us. Meditation ? Yeah ok, did it and was awesome in the past. But honestly ? I find it boring lol ! It's most probably a wonderful practice and absolutely right for some souls. You know what made me happier, and let all enlightened souls out there scream in terror with my choices...i rediscovered an old strategy video game i used to play before i became "spiritual". And i play it like an obsessed psycho. Yup, it made me a whole lot happier than meditation, sorry gurus ! You know what this made me realize ?
Children are happy...because they have FUN. That's the keyword for me personally i must repeat this. I'm just sharing my experience here not urging anyone to agree with me. Every path is personal and unique and what works for others doesn't work for me. When i started doing things on my own terms..i became happier.
That video game also comes with an editor program you know. So i can tweak the game and have a medieval swordsmen production building to train...friggen space marines ! So i go out and slaughter my hapless virtual opponents who come at me with bows and spells with space pulse rifles...oh frag yeah that's fun lol.
I stopped listening to meditation music or watch binaural videos etc, because....they bored me too. Dirty rock n roll all the way dude !. And i'm happier. Nope, not "spiritual" at all. And since i stopped giving a damn what gurus and self-proclaimed assended and "enlightened" people who brag in forums say...i became happier. 
What does my future holds ? Dunno, don't care. And i'm happier. Solitude and nature...yeah ok they're good...but hey i'm a human being too and i need company, i need fun, i need to stop worrying if there are other dimensions or angels or aliens out there and what my guides think of me or want from me...what about what i want from me ? So yeah...is it evolution or de-evolution for me now, do i proceed towards the light or not, are my guides pissed at me because of my choices...well too bad for them lol 
If you don't know what your terms are, go create YOUR terms, yours and no one else's. If the things you did in the past don't work anymore, if the old path led to a dead end, go carve out a new one in the jungle of this life. A wise person once said, "traveller, there is no set path, you create it as you go forward".  
Life's short my friend...better spend it having some fun ! ;)
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