[QUOTE=Grounded Gifts;1047513]Hey there, Ohshin, I'm female too, and we are trained to repress our anger and tolerate abuse, which means we don't learn how to release our anger in safe ways -- leading to depression, anxiety and other symptoms. That's been my experience of it, anyway. We need to give ourselves permission to be angry when anger is the appropriate response, and then release our anger in safe ways, and then heal ourselves and deal with the event/situation.
And many guys need to give themselves permission to emote, to have sympathy for those in need, and to talk openly about their health and others' health and wellbeing -- instead of just responding to stress by being angry
IME when hurt is caused by someone we know, esp. family or a partner, it cuts us to the core because we have higher expectations of the people we let into our inner circle. I guess we need to remember that keeping ourselves safe is the priority, avoiding people who repeatedly abuse us, or, in situations where there is potential for a positive way forward with the person, heal ourselves and then assess what we can do to improve the relationship with the person.
Sometimes people will refuse to admit they have harmed us. I think, personally, that the word 'forgiveness' doesn't cover all that needs to be done, to heal. I think, for me, it's more about accepting that I'm never going to get the acceptance
I expect from that person, and accept and let go, and spend my time with somebody else who does
give me that acceptance.
I'm kinda rambling here .... anyway, I hope things work out with your brother. Thanks for your thoughts about love and the heart. I keep reading, here, there, and everywhere, that this is supposed to be the era of the opening of the hearts of humankind.
I guess the opening of hearts and the surrender to love and self-acceptance occurs one heart at a time
Thanks for your kind words. I worked with/counselled woman who were in abusive relationships, for 3 years. I have been on both ends. Teacher and student. Healer and healing...and so it goes, round and round.
As for my brother, unfortunately we live together in a situation where I pay most of the rent. I'am also tied into a year lease with him, so there is no easy way out. Ive just been ignoring him, so its been quiet. I had the best of intentions for both of us when I pitched this idea, but I'm really getting nothing from this scenario, other than a lack of freedom in my own home. I left home when I was 14, out of self preservation, now here I'am at 33 stuck (for now), living with a non supportive, self absorbed family member again, lol. Thank god everything is transient.
It feels good to come here and escape/live/be as I truly am.