Hi all, sorry I did not answer for days, but I had an interesting week. So, last friday I discovered my partner was cheating on me from months and I went crazy because I was sure he was the love of my life. Yesterday, after him praying to come back together and me shouting at him, happened something extraordinary to me, that I described in this story.
The amazing story of an extraordinary evening: the Ego who began to understand the Soul.
Ego:
It’s been almost a week now that I’m depleted, angry, sad, betrayed, hurt. I just met him, I shouted so loud that I can’t even remember what he said while I was going crazy; He lied, denied and tried to fix something is impossible to recover for me: trust.
So, I come back home and call my parents, to tell them the news and show them all my anger. Well, the result is my parents telling me that I’m not this, I’m not anger, I’m not hate but everything that is completely opposite.
I walk around my little kitchen and I start to think ..
Soul:
Yes, I’m here, still, waiting for you and trying to talk to you from long time now.
Ego:
I hear something but I don’t know if it’s convenient now to think about it. Anyway, I see that my body is falling apart from the pain I’m feeling, so better I start to fix this, at least.
Also, what if there’s another possibility to relieve this terrible state of mind/body? Wait, there might be a solution: if I’ll be able to transform these bad feelings into something more productive, I could be better almost immediately.
I have an idea, maybe.
I send him a txt, asking him to come over here that I need to talk to him. He can’t, for silly reasons, and surprisingly I’m not angry, so we agree to talk in two days, when he’ll come over to collect his things.
That’s a deal, contract, whatever you want to call it, and I’m pretty sure he will understand what I’ll say; if not, well, it’s not anymore my problem. Basically I want to tell him that, if he promises me to start a straight life, we’ll be even, because the energetic statement of the outcome will heal the pain I’m feeling. Actually, I feel I’m healing already.
Yes, wait, and so, that’s it, is it?
It seems crazy but yes, because I think I’m hearing the part of myself that I was hiding.
Soul:
Yes! There’s more here! Wooooohooooooo welcome home!
Ego:
I sit on my couch, I put a movie I love, and my thoughts continue to be different from before.
And what if there’s a bigger picture on it?
Soul:
You hear me now, you wanted to, from long time, as I said before. I’m love, happiness, trust, instinct and your inner voice that you wanted to feel so badly since 20 years; this is the reason of your endless research and meditation; this is truth, abruptly felt because last week you started a new technique, and you donkey, undervalued the power of it without a master; this is change, flow of energy and balance. This is you looking, finally, at me, and recognising that we are separate but we can cope together. I’m here before you, I know what you need and I know what WE can be together, if you keep me close. You’re hurt yes, your body feel it and is quite confused, but you can’t anymore stay without me, and you’re already healing. You were afraid and arrogant and yet, you discovered something in your life that could have been still hidden from your sight, and this is because you’ve listened to me!
I need you too, you are the part that allows both to live, you’re strong and proud, but not too much ok? The thing is that now it’s not important anymore the outcome of your “contract”, but your intentions. You knew, intentions and choices had to be balanced between the two of us; I gave you what you needed but you, because of your proud, didn’t want to listen to me when I thought that you must had to. It was/is painful but you don’t anymore need the pills on your table. You don’t feel afraid all of a sudden, don’t you? Hahaha, I know it!
Ego:
Oh Jaysus…
Oh God…
(I don’t believe in both, but 40 years of listening to this thing, you know..)
So that’s what it was. I was sure I had to shut myself up to understand this, to discover I can still live, with you! You know, I still feel worried for a couple of things and I need to fix my body, but I can do it now.
I feel the joy again, and is like I’m in rehab. I was only rationalising the past days and it did help just to survive. I wasn’t aware, yet, that there was space for both of us; I was practicing and studying about you and me for years, as you well know, but I did it just speaking for myself…well, until you showed up out of the blue, saying you were with me too. I realised that together we shape reality with thoughts; that I am, most of the times, the evil earthy entity and you are the elevated one. This is polarity, this is balance, this is the power that everyone has. I am necessary as you are, and this awareness is the greater gift I could ever imagined to receive. Hopefully next time everything will be a little less dramatic!
Soul:
You activated this, consciously , I just helped it.
Ego:
Alright then, I’m tired now, I really need to sleep, thank you.
Soul:
Thank you.