I advise you to also look into your kundalini rising all humans and mammals have this in there root chakra best to look at chakra first meditating is excellent start your crown also connects you to your spiritual self but don't worry you are just awakening spiritually find a class or mentor to help you it can be a slow process so take your time an be patient and I wish you all best
People do not need to understand you.
In the end, life is a personal journey.
In the end you live for yourself and not for others.
Putting your energy in your artwork sounds like a great idea. Maybe see how far you can make it with your art.