I feel lost.. and very scared.

#1
I feel lost in this world where no one can understand me and I feel lonely and scared on who I am and what I should be doing here. I've been told a while ago by my grandpa that I was some sort of "crystal child" and how I am different from the rest of the world. I felt like it was just a weird comment by him and forgot about it until I've finally discovered that I am completely different from everyday society and how I want to escape to a different place with no "mean humans". From that point on, I began researching what it means to potentially be "crystal" and when I discovered what it was, I felt exactly like one but didn't know where to go afterwards. So, I talked to my grandpa for a while about it and he helped me by directing me on what I should be doing next with this "gift". I've been keeping it a secret with my grandpa for over a year now, but suddenly, I felt disconnected by him and lost his trust due to his behavior with a family issue that happened last month. I then felt lost and scared and with no one else to trust in this world, been in a panic. Until today, when I curiously found this blog site about this whole group of people that feel just like me. I still feel off-place and feel like I don't belong here since this is "indigo" and not "crystal", but I am super lost on what i need to do to continue my way of life and decided to register here. I would like to know more about how or what I am and why I am here and not in a place where I should be.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#4
cheeneka wrote:
Tue Jan 15, 2019 7:35 pm
In other words. Sit in silence. Listen within. Then you will find what you seek.
LOve Cheeneka x
But what if others find it weird or make fun of you if you try and express yourself since it is not usual? Or you are really shy and don't know how to even express yourself or interact with others naturally? And btw thanks for responding ^~^

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#6
it helps to make sense of who you are. I am also an individual who feels out of place within this society. Sometimes my flesh overcomes my spirit, and I find myself conversing and relating to individuals of the world, but only for moments which don’t feel fulfilling. I pride myself in being unique and an indigo warrior, fighting for peace and love. Understand that you are unique and put on this earth to promote spiritual change, and also to enjoy life for what it will truly bring.

Wishes to light❤️
-greenman

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#7
greenmxnz wrote:
Sat Apr 06, 2019 2:35 am
it helps to make sense of who you are. I am also an individual who feels out of place within this society. Sometimes my flesh overcomes my spirit, and I find myself conversing and relating to individuals of the world, but only for moments which don’t feel fulfilling. I pride myself in being unique and an indigo warrior, fighting for peace and love. Understand that you are unique and put on this earth to promote spiritual change, and also to enjoy life for what it will truly bring.

Wishes to light❤️
-greenman
I rather let those who are interested in who I really am pursue me rather than me trying to find someone I can relate to. I am still trying to learn who I am and how I am connected to the spiritual world. I sadly do not trust to reveal my identity to others anymore due to the way they will look at me for being.. "crazy" or "maniac". I've had so many bad encounters with evil humans that I just hide away and try to live on my own the journey I have ahead. I wish the world wasn't very harsh on accepting others and wish it could change for the better :/

Also, Happy Earth Day! I felt a bit connected today to this holiday for some reason.. and thanks for responding ^~^ i would like to learn more about the spiritual world surrounding us and how or why we feel left out of this humanoid planet.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#8
I've spent a lot of my life hiding who I am, because I was burned so badly by trying to be myself before. It's been a wicked battle that's resulted in depression, addiction, instability, and worse. So I understand very well why you'd want to hide your identity from the world.

In my experience anyway, the process of solving this problem has come down to at least two things:

1) Finding my tribe. Finding the people who support me and remind me who I am when I doubt myself. Finding the connections that restore my soul. There's honestly no way, unless I am incredibly lucky, to find my tribe if I always hide who I am. Therefore, it is important to take the risk of being burned, and "letting my freak flag fly" so that the other "freaks" know where to find me. I may get hurt in doing so, but...

2) It's important to work on refining my ability to articulate my truth in a way that is logical, balanced, fair to other people's feelings, not defensive, and not overbearing or unreasonable. I used to be so focused on being myself that I would demand other people to accept me for who I was, not realizing that I was being really overbearing, overly defensive, and irrational. Not many people are going to take me very seriously if I'm like that. And sometimes, explaining who I am is difficult, and I know how it feels to be me, but I don't know how to put it into words. It has been insanely frustrating. But if we can't put ourselves into words, then how can we expect others to understand?

I am gifted with an ability to express myself using words, and even I have struggled immensely with not being able to express myself. So someone who feels like they can't express themselves with words must really feel up Shit's Creek.

So if you have difficulty expressing yourself, it may be important to find someone who can help you put your feelings into words, or even advocate on your behalf. Just so anyone reading this knows, I am more than willing to do that. Just ask. I've got your back.

So for me personally, finding my tribe and learning to express my truth (even when my voice shakes and my knees buckle) have been instrumental in my journey to transcend all that depression and addiction and stagnation.

When you're in your darkest period of suffering, just know somewhere deep in your soul that from that darkness comes the potential for the greatest and profoundest light. It's up to you to turn the darkness into light, by being steadfast in faith, by refining your perception of truth, by being a humble servant to others, and by letting your love shine through.

Namaste forever,
Andrew L. Hicks
  • Creative Entrepreneur
    Founder of the World Peace Party
    2020 US Presidential Candidate

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#9
and48302 wrote:
Tue Apr 23, 2019 5:58 pm
greenmxnz wrote:
Sat Apr 06, 2019 2:35 am
it helps to make sense of who you are. I am also an individual who feels out of place within this society. Sometimes my flesh overcomes my spirit, and I find myself conversing and relating to individuals of the world, but only for moments which don’t feel fulfilling. I pride myself in being unique and an indigo warrior, fighting for peace and love. Understand that you are unique and put on this earth to promote spiritual change, and also to enjoy life for what it will truly bring.

Wishes to light❤️
-greenman
I rather let those who are interested in who I really am pursue me rather than me trying to find someone I can relate to. I am still trying to learn who I am and how I am connected to the spiritual world. I sadly do not trust to reveal my identity to others anymore due to the way they will look at me for being.. "crazy" or "maniac". I've had so many bad encounters with evil humans that I just hide away and try to live on my own the journey I have ahead. I wish the world wasn't very harsh on accepting others and wish it could change for the better :/

Also, Happy Earth Day! I felt a bit connected today to this holiday for some reason.. and thanks for responding ^~^ i would like to learn more about the spiritual world surrounding us and how or why we feel left out of this humanoid planet.
I understand how you feel.
Also have a hard time trusting these days because of many things that have happened (strong reasons for this).
It is easy for someone who does not understand you to label you as crazy and other things.
Just remember that people judge from their own perspective. They judge from their ignorance, lack of self-love, narrow mindedness or fear. When someone does not have love within, that person cannot give love; it is simple as that. We are all mirrors to each other.

The people who are really secure and who have love within can easily accept others with their "weirdness" because they are not afraid, they are secure. You can feel the love that some people carry.

My advice, and what I am going through is to learn how to accept this; accept that not everyone is ready for what you have and for who you are and let them be. Focus on your inner power, your inner strength and inner security. This is a process of course but I think it is the way to cope with this society.

After all, you are living for yourself and not for others. You are your own journey; seeking love or approval leads to failure. If you seek the love and the approval, then find it in yourself.

Self love is a powerful healer. Love yourself and feel proud of who you are; this includes your darkness aswell.

People who hate and judge too much forget that it is themselves who they hate and who they cannot accept. It is their path.

You find your own worth within and when you find it, then you can face the world with real love and security. When you do this you become a magnet for others who are on a similar level.

Life gives us lessons and we usually must live a process first. }

Everyone has shadows (the whole meaning if the word). Rejecting others simply means lack of self-acceptance and fear of facing the inner shadows. Always easier to point fingers than looking within, as there is fear within too.
And if you feel that someone is evil or harmful towards you, you can just walk away and focus on your inner strength. After all, you are a free being and you have the right to live for yourself; to go ahead in your journey the way you are meant to. Negativity brings valuable lessons.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#10
I would love to talk to both of you about advices on how to tackle these problems and trying to find a "tribe" of people that feel similar to me. I've wandered everyone to try and find someone I can relate to and I think I have finally stumbled upon a place where I can freely share this and maybe share my experiences with others. I am also honored that a lot of people answered to this thread in a very accepting manner and I would like to talk to you all sometime ^~^. I have recently been a tad bit open to others that have the patience to comprehend me, but I would still like to connect to someone, someone I can look up to, or continue to lead me on my journey of figuring out who I really am and what psychic abilities or powers I can develop or already have but do not know how to use them.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#11
Whenever you want you can talk to me.
I think I am open minded and also a bit "weird" maybe.

However, I would advice that you do not try to look up to anyone as no one is superior to you.
Some people have some wisdom to share and that is great. To connect and to share with like-minded people or at least with people who are open minded and in the quest for truth, knowledge, self-awareness, etc.
But you are your guide. People share knowledge and awareness but you are living your path and discovering who you really are :)

Truth is something to find deep within one´s consciousness.
But sharing is great and helpful anyways.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#12
I will take your advice.. I didn't mean it to sound like I am under an authoritarian figure, I just want to learn more about myself by trying to find people I can connect to or a book written by someone with similar experiences. I've had weird feelings recently, like perceiving moments or events that might happen in the future, and I would like to control them as they develop due to me not differentiating between what is imaginary and what is reality. I still feel lost on what this feeling is, or what I am supposed to do with it, since I don't want it to cause any harm, so, that is why I want to learn from others to gain some knowledge on what this feeling is and any others I have felt.

Re: I feel lost.. and very scared.

#16
Day #1
I know who i am and where i belong.

I know what love is, where i want to be, and with whom i can trust my heart.

we know if you like someone(s) it is natural and easy to go there and just be there with them

it's known that the needs and interests of the persons you choose to love become your responsibility and in your own best interests to fulfill

its understandable that when you become attached to another person or group all members rise to the defence and safety of each other when necessary

and we know those who offer others dignity respect and love usually receive the same in return from most of the people they will ever encounter.

I am putting myself on a mission. i dont care how long it takes, how hard it is, or what i have to do. i want to become worthy of acceptance by the people who love me that i have also chosen to care for.
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