Now I know.. The answer is both, I choose to hear the negative thing instead of the positive and human, the always think of the negative first.
So guys, please, filter your head, try to get rid of the negative thoughts. It is still a struggle for me but now I am getting better as I know, there is always the positive, that you can have if you choose to seek it further.
Now I am 18 years old. As I grow older, I don't feel my energy out of control as I used to felt. I tried to meditate few times. I thought I was failing but now I can meditate anywhere I want. I also found out that now I am able to do a controlled astral projection beside, I can feel where is the person I am looking for. Sometimes, I can even see what they are doing (This one is still hard to control since I always doubt my intuition).
In my previous post, I posted about I got this vision when I meditate. A vision of space but full of many unknown dimension. As I was asking in that vision to myself, what is that place and where do I go to sleep, I was back to reality and the question remain unknown until now. I was listening to Prince Ea, a guy who made a lot of meaningful video. (The link below, check it out! It is helping me clearing of who am I)
Then, 1 minute before the video ends, I found the same vision in my head. I am there in the space of portals and dimension and I have the thought of an answer saying
"This is the reality, where everything exist, the truth, the life itself. The past, the present, the future, the link of every human life, where you belong.."
I am seriously amazed by what I have just found. I am not sure if I am able to go to that dimension again but this is something really serious and big, that's why I want to share it.. I would like an opinion please, and I hope my mind is not making up itself..